I'm just sitting in my car as I write this. I feel strange. It isn't the first time in my life I've hooked up with a man I barely know, so I don't fully know why I feel this way. It isn't even the first time I did things with a man other than my boyfriend. I did things with his work friend about a month ago because I thought he wanted me to. He didn't then, and we have since worked through it. This time he wanted me to. Yet I feel off.

Yesterday he asked me to give a guy a blowjob. I agreed, and since then I have been wracking my brain how to go about it since he didn't want it to be anyone he knew. I spent so long considering it, and planning, and debating, that this whole situation felt almost surreal, like a dream I couldn't wake up from. I felt that way right up until I was on my knees for this other man. And then I felt... aroused.

He was a guy I see almost everyday. He works at the coffee place I frequent near where I work. I have been going there for a long time, and we were always friendly. We knew eachother by name and on a few occasions we have flirted. He's tall, lean, and very handsome. I decided that if I was going to be doing this for my boyfriend I would atleast pick someone I was attracted to.

As I stood in line, waiting for my turn to order, and ask him, I could feel my face flush and my heart beat in my throat. I was so nervous. I'm not good at this, I never was, and I honestly had no idea what I was going to say. When it was my turn I more or less just blurted it out. I leaned in like I wanted to whisper to him, he got closer, and I just asked him if he'd like a blowjob. Embarrassing is an understatement.

He thought I was joking, or messing with him, as any sane and rational man would. I assured him I wasn't. He quickly changed the subject and asked me for my order. I thought that was it, so I placed my order and started thinking about where else I could get my coffee from now on. I was almost relieved honestly.

But then he came and handed me my drink a few minutes later and asked me why. I was mostly honest. I told him he was attractive, we had good rapport, and I wanted to. He asked me if I was serious, and I said I was. Once again I felt embarrassed, and nervous. As I said this was all so surreal, it felt like it wasn't me doing this.

It didn't take much more convincing, and he asked me for my number and said he would be off in a few hours. I gave it to him, and went back to work. However no work was done. Instead I stared blankly at my computer, unable to focus on anything. I questioned myself, whether I was really going to do this.

Then my phone chimed and it was him texting me that he was off. I felt like a robot, just going through the motions as I got my things and left the office. I drove back to the coffee place and met with him. We exchanged pleasantries and he asked me where I wanted to go. I hadn't thought of that. I froze. He then invited me up to his place as it turns out he lived above the coffee shop.

I just went with him which was foolish, but I wasn't thinking. I barely even said anything. We made small talk on the steps, and then next thing I know we're in his apartment. My heart was pounding, I was nervous, and then he touched me on the arm. I nearly jumped out of my skin. He asked if I was alright, and I took a few deep breaths to steady myself before saying I was.

I turned to face him, and he leaned in to kiss me. I never discussed that with my boyfriend. I didn't know what to do. I was only supposed to blow him, but I didn't have time to react and so we kissed. It still felt so surreal. Like I wasn't really there.

I brought my hands to his belt, and started undoing his pants. His hands went to my boobs and once again I wasn't sure what to do. I didn't know if I should stop him, but it did feel good, so I let him. I also let him pull my shirt off, but by then I had his pants open, and I dropped to my knees, pulling his pants down as I went.

I pulled his boxers down and out sprung a semi erect penis that was quite large. It was in that moment that it all faded away from me. As I held him in my hands, the reason I was there, the nervousness, the constant second guessing all vanished. I looked up at this handsome man looking down at me with that gorgeous smile, and I felt nothing but lust and arousal, and I sucked that cock right to the back of my throat.

He moaned, leaning his head back as I sucked him. I felt him growing harder in my mouth and I took it out so I could see his full size. It was big, and amazing and very appetizing. I took him back in my mouth and tried several times to deep throat him, but it was difficult. Atleast until he put his hand on the back of my head and helped.

After a few more attempts I got the angle right and felt him slide down my throat. Again he moaned and held me there, my nose pressed against his taut body. A few moments of that and I leaned back to catch my breath, and in that brief pause I remembered my Andy and what he wanted. Pictures. I took my phone out and then continued sucking his big dick.

I fumbled to get the camera open, but I managed eventually and started taking a few selfies. Some with it in my mouth, some holding it to my lips while smiling, and a few from above from this man's POV with his dick deep in my mouth.

He asked what I was doing and I panicked. Should I tell him what they were for? Would he be mad? I quickly lied and told him I liked to have pictures to look at later while I masturbate. He half laughed, and called me freaky. I smiled and continued to blow him.

I put my phone down and focused on what I was doing after that, sucking him hard, taking him deep, letting him push it back down my throat. I paid attention to his balls with my hands, and gently stroked his shaft as I bobbed my head on him. It didn't take much longer and I could tell he was close. His breathing was heavier, his moans were louder, he was saying my name more.

Then I did something. I don't know if I should've. I didn't even really think about it. It's just something I do when I'm extremely horny like I was. I reached behind me and unclasped my bra while I took him to the back of my throat. Then I sat back on my heels, used both hands to jerk him off, and told him to cum on my face. He called me a freaky girl again, and then a few moments later he began spraying me with cum.

It was amazing to have this gorgeous man, with his big cock, cumming on my face and breasts. I kept stroking him as it kept coming until it finally started to drip. Then I took him back in my mouth and sucked hard to get the rest. It was incredibly hot. And as I finally let go and sat back on my heels I snapped a few more selfies, showing off my reward.

After that I excused myself to the bathroom and cleaned up as best I could. When I went back to the living room, to grab my clothes, he pulled me into a kiss and groped my boobs. It was sudden, and I know I should've stopped him, but I was so horny and his hands and kisses felt so amazing.

It was very hard to stop him, and he even got a hand down my pants and a finger inside me. I really had to stop him, but it felt so good. His kiss, his hand teasing my nipples, and his fingers inside me, I just couldn't. I was moaning into his mouth, and my hands found his semi hard cock. It wasn't until he started pulling my pants down that I snapped out of it.

I pushed him back and told him I had to go. He seemed a little frustrated, but didn't try to push his luck. He kissed me again, softly, and said he'd text me later. I guess he thinks this will be a regular thing. I will really need to find a new coffee place now.

As soon as I got outside, and into my car, the reality hit me. I feel so off. And now after writing it out was it because of how good it all felt? Did I want more? Does my boyfriend want me to do more? Where do I fit in with all of this? Is this what I want? I honestly don't have any answers.

I told my boyfriend it was done and he's begging me for pictures, but he will have to wait. I will show him in person later.

And obviously I'm not sharing them here.

Don't even ask.

I'm just so messed up right now after all this though. It wasn't like this the first time with Andy's friend. So why am I all messed up now?

Questions for later. For now I have to get home and work this out of my system. I'm still extremely horny.