Allow me to set the scene. I’m a 35 year old male (34 at the time of this story) from the UK. One of my best friends invited me to Ibiza for his birthday. I have been working in the music and live events industry for the last 12 years. I probably know Ibiza better than I know my own home town after living and working on the island on and off for the last decade. 

We had a pretty heavy first few days. We went to two clubs, a hike for sunset and explored some of the island's best restaurants. On the final night, we were considering going to a venue called Pikes for a chilled evening as our flight was leaving the next morning at around 10am (we also needed to return a rental car). 

Disclaimer: this story does involve drugs. I’ll only mention where relevant. 

If you have ever been to Pikes, you will know that this place has the power to take a quiet night and turn it into a wild one. FYI - if you don’t know about Pikes, it’s the location for the Abba - Wham! Video and it’s famous for Tony Pike (RIP!) and his raunchy sex life that included fucking celebs like Grace Jones. I 100% recommend his book! I feel like Tony would approve of GWS as a thread… 

At around 10 PM after we got back from dinner, we finally committed to going to Pikes. Three other friends alongside my friends were already there and apparently there had been a falling out and some drama was kicking off. We arrived at the venue around 11:30 PM, my two friends went to find our other friends; while I went to the bar to order the first round of beers and shots. 

Before I go any further, let me describe myself. I’m quite skinny with glasses and a well kept beard. I wear a cap at all times. I like to think I’m well dressed and have a chilled out vibe (I get told this a lot). I’m no stud, I’m the nerdy guy in the friendship group who works in the music industry.

Anyway, let me describe to you the two Australian girls who I met at the bar. Ange is a tall, pale skinned Australian girl with blonde hair who will chat to anyone. She came straight to me, stole my cap off my head and said “I like your cap”. Her appearance wasn’t my type at all but I do admire a girl with confidence.

Her friend, Isabella; the star of this story is also blonde, shorter than Ange but much quieter. Isabella was cute, she stood out to me straight away except she was clearly not as drunk as her friend and was much more laid back and polite. Isabella apologised for her friend’s behaviour, took my hat off Ange’s head and went to give me back. She politely said that she also liked my cap and asked if she could wear it instead. I agreed and introduced myself to them and within a few minutes, I sat down at the table with them talking about my holiday on the island, the drama that had happened with my friends and how I didn't want any drama on my last night on the island. 

My group of friends finally came and found me. They cleared up the drama and I introduced them to Ange and Isabella, who then pulled us over to meet their friends who were chilling by the entrance to Pikes’ dance floor inside the hotel. This is where I met Ange’s boyfriend, a quiet, chilled out Irish guy who was living in Australia. He seemed the complete opposite of Ange, who later was telling me that if I ever visit Australia, I can stay in their apartment in Sydney and enjoy their hardwood floors and sea views from the balcony. 

An hour later, I found myself chilling outside, still chatting to Isabella about her travels from Australia around Europe. She hinted at her life at home but was very closed off about why she was travelling and why she wasn’t looking forward to going home anytime soon. Her friends were on holiday, so she arranged her travelling around Europe and coming to Ibiza around her friends. She was staying on the island a few more days than I was and planning on going to Majorica and few other places in mainland Space before flying to London sometime in October before returning home to Australia.  

At this point, she’s still wearing my cap. We finally got ourselves to a point where we were ready to go and dance. I took my cap back as she led me to the dance floor. We found our friends, shared an E before heading back outside to the bar 30-45 minutes later. At this point it was just us two, all of our friends were scattered around the venue, in their own little worlds. It was probably the heat of the club, the humidity outside of Ibiza and September but I had a little moment where I noticed the two of us were sitting closer than earlier. 

It’s now 3:30am. Once again, Pikes had worked its magic. A quiet last night in Ibiza… What's one of them? As my friends pulled me over and told us we needed to leave, I was conscious that I’d never see Isabella again. I went over to her, sat down next to her and said “I can’t leave without us doing a bump together…” Her eyes lit up and she took my hand and led me towards the girls toilets. She sat on the toilet seat, I crouched down in front of her, stretching my legs. The bump turned into a line. She was trouble and I kinda liked it… 

“So what happens now then?” I asked. 

“What do you mean?” she replied. 

“We meet in Pikes and we never speak again… I don’t like that”

“I don’t really use Insta,” she smiled.

I held out my phone. “WhatsApp it is then” 

As we left the toilets and I made my way out of the venue, I got into a taxi with my friends when Ange came running out of the venue and towards me. She motioned for me to wind down the window. She leaned in, kissed me on the lips and begged me to tell her they could continue the party. I got a text from Isabella about 3:45 AM, updating me on Ange terrorising the taxi driver. I then got a text at 12pm when I had landed back in the UK telling me that Ange was very embarrassed about her antics and how she ended up in a brothel… 

Now, unfortunately, this story does not involve any fucking between me and Isabella. But it does include a lot of filthy dirty talk, nudes being exchanged and Isabella and I teasing the fuck out of each for a week. How we got there I have no idea. Our texts for the next few days were innocent enough. I recommended a few of the smaller clubs/parties she should attend, she got drunk with a couple staying at her hostel. 

Fast forward a few more days of innocent chatting and then it all changed. The naughty talk happened one morning when Isabella had made her way to Majorca. We were casually talking about Isabella going to the beach, and for her to become an adopted European she would have to begin sunbathing topless, eating olives and naps at the beach… 

Me: “Well the topless sunbathing only benefits me If I can see it” 

I: “This is true, we’ll just have to arrange that won’t we”

Me: “You can send photos… of the olives… obviously”

I: “Soliciting olive pics, saucy”

Me: “Foreplay at its finest” 

I: “Low key though, never before have I been this turned on talking about olives”

Me: “Well, that’s made me totally flustered at work” 

(Luckily, I work from home). 

I: “I’m not even working and it’s very distracting…”

I: “I don’t want to distract you any further, but I haven’t quite made it to the beach yet. I may well be taking advantage of this lovely empty room and all of it’s privacy…”

Me” “Fuck..”

Me: “This is one of the perks of working from home and for myself. When I get distracted I have all the privacy I need too…”

I: “There I go behind a bad influence on you again… distracting you from your work… my bad!”

Me: “I meannnn… I’m kind of okay with it. Feel free to do it more often”

I: “I think I might have too. Now I think I’m ready for the beach, I all of a sudden feel very relaxed.”

Me: “You are very welcome…”

Me: “Can I ask you a personal question?”

I: “Okay…”

Me: “I feel like I need to ask permission here while you're travelling, has there been anyone? Or has it been private holiday rooms and alone time?” 

I: “That’s two questions but I appreciate the politeness” 

I: “A bit of everything tbh. I take advantage of privacy when I have it, yes, because it can be very frustrating and I have a tendency to get very frustrated anyway…”

Me: “Very frustrated… damn”

I: “I guess it’s part of being a daydreamer. My mind wanders regularly” 

Me: “Where is it wandering too now?”

Me: “Fuck, I have a meeting. This client loves a conversation… I’ll be back…”

I: “Don’t let your mind wander during your meeting. Pay attention…”

Me” “Let me know when you get to the beach… 🫒🫒”

I: “If I get there…”

There is three parts to this and it gets a lot spicer in Parts II and III. Let me know if you want me to post them...