So this story involves a coworker, some drama, and some late night drunken sex. Years ago I used to work with this guy I’ll call M. He was a loud kind of fuck boy type, full of himself and full of self assigned importance. Not the typical guy I would ever pursue or find appealing. However. I got wind that he was dating this girl who also worked alongside us, but within another department. I didn’t like her. Still don’t to this day.

I will spare the gist of the drama but as women go, there was some clear and serious dislike for the other on each end. I didn’t intend to fuck her boyfriend initially, but he again was the fuck boy type and obviously liked a bit of risky flirting and ego stroking and I’m sure my sexually charged quick wit and love of eye contact threw him a bit. We did this charged banter back and forth for a few weeks, under the nose of his girlfriend. At the time he worked 7am-7pm and I worked 10am to 10pm. The night before Thanksgiving I get a text as I’m getting off work close to 10:30.

“Hey, do you have any baking powder?” “Baking powder? Seriously?” “Yes. I’m trying to make a log cake and I don’t have baking powder.” “You’re asking me because…?” “I knew you’d be awake still and I knew you liked to bake and I knew you’d have it.” “I do have it. Can’t run to the store?” “No it’s too late to run out. Can you please bring it over? I won’t keep you I just need it please.”

What a feeble attempt on his end. But honestly I saw an opportunity and why wouldn’t I take it? Just to spite this woman I didn’t vibe with. Cake.

“K. You said please twice in one text. I know desperation when I see it. Send your address iomw.”

I show up and he is literally in the kitchen whipping frosting and baking this cake. I hand him the coveted baking powder and ask ok what do I get in return. He smiles and asks if I want to stay for a drink. Of course I obliged, pulled out a barstool seat from the counter and got comfy. I was there to play a game after all. He handed me a bottled beer and he had this little smirk on his face. For context, 5’10, black hair, clean shaven, more on the built side and personable. Wore glasses sometimes but I don’t know how smart he actually was. I’ll skip the boring banter, but about three drinks and maybe a shot of tequila in I ask if his girlfriend is allergic to baking powder, wouldn’t she have it. He laughs and says “I’m baking a cake, I had baking powder.” I stand up, walk over to this man, get within inches of his face and quietly ask “then why I am here.”

He stares back at me, doesn’t say a word, runs a hand up my stomach, between my tits, up my neck and tilts my chin. In that moment our hands were all over one another as were our mouths. We started right there in his kitchen, stripping each other’s top half of clothing, groping, kissing…all of it. His hands ran all over my ass and my boobs and I could feel his hard cock in his sweatpants. He seemed surprised and very happy that my nipples were pierced. He licked and kissed his way all over my chest, up my neck, and back to my mouth. I remember him grabbing my neck and squeezing while he stared at me. This continued for a while until we broke away to grab a sip of our drinks and catch our breath. I noticed the frosting on the counter and decided to have fun with it. I took my finger and scooped some up. I dotted his lower lip and kissed it off. I dotted his neck and licked it off. His chest. His abdomen.

I got down on my knees. His happy trail. I stared up at him and put my finger in my mouth and sucked off the rest of the frosting. I pulled down his sweats and he was average, still plenty to work with. I got a little more frosting on my finger and swirled it around the head of his cock. He was looking down on me and I took him all into my mouth at once. Over and over just tasting that sweet frosting on the back of my tongue and his hands on the sides of my head helping to control the pace. I don’t remember him moaning or making much noise but I do remember his head being back like he was looking up at the ceiling. I wasn’t on my knees for long before I got the all knowing “fuuuuck” and he pulled me back up. He started kissing me again and walked me backwards about 10 feet to a couch. I remember thinking he’s worried about fucking me because he spent probably 20-30 minutes grinding on me.

My sweatpants were still on at this point. He broke away from kissing me so many times to bury his head in my neck and push his hips into my open thighs but never took my pants off. I remember being annoyed at his lack of aggression and control. Usually I’d already be pushing a round two. But no. I tried to be patient because I wanted him to make that move being the one in the relationship. It’s just that extra “fuck you he pushed it.” But this dude either was struggling internally with that fact or just lazy. Either way I was annoyed and finally said, “show me your bed. It’s got to be upstairs right?” I get up and head to the staircase I saw when I initially showed up. He followed behind me and I see an open door and assume it’s his room. “Looks comfy” I said as I laid down and lift my hips to strip my pants off.

He stood at the foot of the bed and stares at me lying there in nothing but a black thong. It’s pretty dark, only a little light from the hall way. And he just sighs and says “fuck it.” I smiled because I knew I'd won this game. What man goes this far and stops now? He pulls back down his sweats and slides between my thighs. He’s pulls my thong to the side and pushes in to me and starts that first fuck steady pace all you men do. He gets close to me, hovering just above my face, and here is my absolute favorite part of the story. He and his girlfriend wore these stupid as hell matching necklaces. Her’s said queen and his said king.

So dumb BUT the entire time he was fucking me this king necklace was slapping me in the chin, cheek, nose, mouth…you name it. I still giggle when I think about. It was such a thoughtful gift from her and now it’s dangling in my face while he’s got my arms pinned above my head and is balls deep in my pussy moaning in my ear how good I feel. Phenomenal. We fuck like that for awhile until he gets up and stands at the end of the bed again and says “come here and turn over.” Like I’ve done all evening I oblige and back up my big ass up to the edge of his bed. Before I know it he’s sinking back into me and really fucking me.

The sound of his hips slapping my ass had to have been loud and it made me get vocal and wet as hell quick. He kept just fucking me so hard and pulling my hips back to the edge of the bed. He ended up pulling out, taking off the condom and cumming all over my ass before collapsing down beside me. We were pretty buzzed, him more than me and we doze off in his bed. I wake up close to 4:30/5 am, grab my clothes and start to head out. The cake isn’t made, the kitchen’s still a mess, probably 10-12 beer bottles plus tequila and two shot glasses sitting on the countertop. In that moment I felt like I had come what I came to do and left quietly.

The following week I pieced together through several coworkers that apparently his girlfriend showed up that morning and he was still asleep and they got into a huge argument about the cake not being made and him being hungover and who was there that night and he made up some story about one of the guys being there and of course that guy covered for his fuck boy friend. I just quietly smiled holding my tongue until she made one snide ass comment and I could see her face when I wrecked her entire existence.

As for me and M, we never really spoke about that night outside of a text from him saying he wanted to “offer an umbrella apology for anything weird that night” and to thank me for not selling him out. I assured him no apology was needed. We continued working together without issue. Two months later this woman pissed me off and I looked her in the eyes and simply said “did that cake for Thanksgiving ever get done? I thought the frosting was a bit sweet.” They’re no longer together and I’m no longer that woman but it’s still a funny story to look back on.