A little background about me: I went to high school in America, did my undergraduate at an American college. After I got my BA in economics I went back to China to work at an international corporation, as I'm originally from China and fluent in the language. I do plan to go back to America to complete my graduate studies some time in the future, or maybe work for an American company. I don't know yet.

Anyway, so why am I posting this there? Oh, where do I even start? While I was doing my undergraduate I was roommate with this tall, drop dead gorgeous American girl. I'm actually 5 feet 7, and I always considered myself tall, but she was nearly 6 feet tall and her boyfriend was even taller. At least 6 feet 3. And her boyfriend would come over at least once a week to "hang out" with her, you know, "netflix and chill" (to use an American slang) and then they had sex. Whenever her boyfriend showed up I always got really red in the face.

At the time I was still a virgin and when I talked to him, I actually stuttered a bit because how hot and attractive he was. But he was actually a really nice guy and he said he was absolutely fascinated about China and wanted to learn Chinese. And his girlfriend, my roommate, was actually very sweet, and seeing how shy I was, encouraged him to interact with me more often.

One semester her boyfriend enrolled in a Chinese class (so he was seriously about learning Chinese) and, to help him, I started giving him one on one Chinese lessons. We set up a study time and did it in the library. I was really attracted to him and it was really hard for me to hide it. I was so flushed in the face whenever I talked to him and I was giggling and laughing at everything he said. But of course I knew he had a girlfriend who was my roommate so I tried my best to deny my feelings for him.

You know how Proust writes about that insensate and agonizing desire that cannot be assuaged? Well that was how I felt whenever I did not see him. For nearly a month, I was not able to see him. He and his girlfriend went on vacation together to Europe. And it was during this period that I lost my virginity at a Friday night party. Me and my few Chinese girlfriends went to parties together and I had sex with a guy I barely knew. He looked vaguely like him. He was American, tall, had a goatee and brown hair and as soon as our eyes met I was grinding him and he put his hands around my neck and pressed his groan against my ass. I was wearing my sexiest clothes and pushed my ass back against him and before the party ended, I went back to his dorm and we had sex. He put on some soothing American music and I lay back on his bed and imagined him to be my roommate's boyfriend. At the time I felt like such a loser.

After the semester ended my roommate and her boyfriend moved off campus and we barely saw each other ever again. I still gave him Chinese lessons but I could no longer see him laying on the bed with his girlfriend next to mine, and at the time I felt an emptiness inside me.

To make myself feel better, and in the hope to meet my own charming prince, I started giving Chinese lessons to other students around the campus as well as to people outside of the University. I posted ads online, and met people in coffee shops, libraries, their homes. I got to know so many different people. All of my customers were men, since I advertised myself with a picture of myself in my online profile, a brief introduction about my background, and charged quite a lot money for an hour of one-on-one lessons. It was implicitly understood that it was not as simple as learning Chinese.

After I lost my virginity, I was more emboldened and I had discovered just how pleasurable sex can be. And during those lessons I freely accommodated their inappropriate behaviors, like certain sexual innuendos, inappropriate touchings. It was so incredibly fun to know that I was so sexually irresistible to those men and, of course, I also made a lot of money. This post is already getting way too long and I don't want to bore you with all the sordid details

Anyway, during this time I was still giving my crush free Chinese lessons and one day he told me he saw my ad and he asked why was I still giving him free lessons, and I told him because you never asked me, and he said it was wrong that he was not paying me and insisted that I charge him and then I told him then that if that is the case then I needed to give him the same service I gave to those other men. He got the clue and we French-kissed in the library.