Happy holiday season, GWA! I heard about a made-for-TV Christmas movie that was summarized as: a nutcracker comes to life, and he’s a big ‘ol himbo. It's been in my head for a while, so I wrote a script about it, wanting no further information than that simple premise. I think it turned into a really fun, light-hearted, and wholesome story, and I hope you enjoy it.

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Oh yeah, providing comfort is part of the job, too. I mean, we’re not therapists or anything, but we’re all great listeners. You can vent about friends or relatives…consumerism…anything, really. And I give great hugs!

Oh! You mean sex stuff! No, your friend wasn’t lying. It’s great for de-stressing, and it’s my personal favourite. I mean, not everyone requests it, but it’s pretty awesome when they do.

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Synopsis for performer:

You are the perfect holiday helper; ever patient and good-natured. You’re naturally skilled, competent, and always looking for ways to be a good assistant. You’re genuinely enthusiastic to help, because it brings you joy. Sometimes you can be a bit goofy or slow to understand, but like any good himbo, it’s all part of your charm. It’s also essential to your sanity; otherwise, you would be consumed with existential dread regarding your transformation into an unthinking, inanimate doll for 11 months of the year. Yikes.

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Synopsis for listener:

Nutcrackers are all the rage this holiday season. Yes, the wooden soldier-looking things. But thanks to the effects of unspecified winter holiday magic, some of them have been transformed into handsome, strong, good-natured, human men. They’re also…endearingly dumb? But despite being a bit clueless, they’re quite skilled, and a few lucky households will be gifted the services of a nutcracker to help get them through the stress of the holiday season. They’re happy to lend a helping hand wherever they can.

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Find the full script here.

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Please do not tag VA's in the comments; it can be awkward for me and them. If you liked this script, please consider checking out my script archive. There you'll find links to all my other scripts, and the skilled and wonderful people who have performed them.

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