Mmm, it’s been a good night, hasn’t it?

I know things weren’t easy when your parents divorced. And it was probably even worse when she started dating me a year or two after that. Or when I became your other mom when we got married.

I know there’s been that distance between us. As a tomboy, I guess sometimes I tried to close it by being a father figure to you, although that didn’t work so well. I couldn’t really be a mother to you though. Or at least I couldn't live up to your real mother in my own mind.

But I think in this past year we’ve actually begun to make it work as friends.

It helps that I’m a little younger than your mom. And we share a lot of the same interests. Video games, Sports. Pizza. Girls.

Nights like this where your mom is out of town have become more common. Oh, she’s always traveled a lot. But now when she’s gone it turns into a pizza and video game night, or catching a game on tv, or even in person sometimes.

But now comes the difficult part, because I need to talk to you about how our family might be changing.

No, we’re not getting a divorce. Thanks for looking concerned when you said that. It means a lot to me. Things have actually never been better between me and your mom.

In fact, they’re going well enough where your mom wants to have another baby.

We’ve been trying for a while. It hasn’t been easy, or cheap either. But it just hasn’t worked out for getting your mom pregnant, no matter the doctors we see.

We’ve decided to stop throwing money at the problem. We could have dipped into your college fund, but neither of us wanted to. You start college in a few weeks.

That’s when we decided we were looking at this all wrong. We shouldn’t be trying to get your mom pregnant. Sure, she was pregnant before with you, and she’s the maternal one. But she’s a lot older now.

On the other hand, I’m younger. I’m more likely to be fertile. So it makes sense for me to give it a try.

As I said though, we didn’t want to keep throwing money at the problem. Especially when we’d gone through our baby-making budget.

That left us with doing it the old-fashioned way.

The idea didn’t appeal to either of us. Your mom didn’t want me sleeping with a guy, and I’d never been with one in the first place. How were we going to find some guy we’d both be okay with me sleeping with, anyway?

Funny thing though. It turned out the answer was right under our noses.

You.

Full Script Here

Again, nothing necessarily revolutionary from Homer here. The exact reason why the tomboy needs to have sex and be impregnated by the listener has changed a bit, and they're not technically best friends or roommates. However they do have a friendly relationship and do live in the same house. And that's a good part of what somehow makes this little proposal okay for the tomboy, and her wife who is also the listener's mother.

All characters are over eighteen. The listener has graduated and starts college soon. Tagged Incest because of the stepcest, but there is no blood relation between the two characters.

Comments are always welcome, but please do not tag others in them. I'd love to have this recorded, but any performer should find this on their own and hopefully feel that connection to it that makes them want to bring it to life.

As always, thanks for reading.