What is that? Don’t tell me that’s yet another one of those junk crate boxes you got off of the internet. Mom hates it when you buy those and I do too. You end up getting a bunch of useless stuff that just takes up space in our house. We’ve got phone cases for phones they don’t make any more. See? There’s two in this new box of yours. Some random book that no one wanted to buy. There’s some cheap action figure thing.

Oh, what’s this?

It’s a dog collar and leash. A good sized one, too.

Well, there you go. We don’t even have a dog, so it’s more useless garbage.

But, I think I have a friend with a dog with just the right sized neck to use it. So I’ll be a good little sister and take it off your hands so that it doesn’t end up taking up more storage space here.

Which friend? You wouldn’t know them. They’re someone I met at college. But they’re always talking about their dog and showing me pictures. I’m pretty sure they said their dog's collar was really in bad shape.

What? No, of course it’s not for me. I’m not a dog. And it’s nowhere near my size, assuming I had any idea what kind of dog collar I’d need. It’s for my friend. And I’d even be willing to give you… oh, give you five dollars for it. No, ten. It looks sturdy.

I can have it for free if I put it on? Why… why would I do that? Not that it would fit anyway. I do like wearing chokers, but a dog collar is not the same thing.

Still… my friend would really like this I’m sure. And if you don’t want the ten dollars, then I can humor you I guess. I’ll put it on. Or at least try to put it on, because I’m sure it’s not going to fit.

Huh. By some amazing coincidence, it fits perfectly around my neck. But anyway, I put it on. So, I get to keep it, right? A promise is a promise.

Full Script Here

I've never written a petplay script before that I know of. Perhaps I still haven't, because I haven't really research the genre. The idea I had seemed like it could be fun though, so I strayed into new territory a bit for this one. Hopefully people like the result.

All characters are eighteen years old or older, unless you're talking in dog years.

Anyone that wants to record this should feel free to change this however they wish.