Sorry. I’m still pissed at her over that, and a lot of things dating back to… oh, before I can remember, I guess. But we’re still good, right?

Cool. And, um… mom and dad would still like you to come over this weekend. Well, my mom and dad. But they liked it when you called them that, even if they were just your in-laws. But she won’t be there, mostly because she knows mom and dad are just as upset with her over this as I am.

And just between you and me… pretty much everyone in my family likes you better than we like her.

So, anyway. Her attorney contacted her. And she posted on Facebook that is was final. You know, rather than reach out to you or even her own family on it. Then she announced her upcoming bridal shower. [laugh] Good luck with people coming to that. Most people are tired of her shit after the truth came out.

So, there you go. That does it. You’re now a free man. And far better off, if you ask me.

And, um… I have to ask, but… you don’t remember me, do you?

I mean, of course you do. My sister introduced you to me at the wedding. I had been deployed until just a week or two before the wedding, so you never saw me at mom and dad’s, or stuff like that. I was just the tomboy looking awkward in the bridesmaid gown. The one about to start college now that her enlistment was over.

I kind of thought you’d recognize me then. Or at some point after that, in the almost two years we’ve known each other.

Let me refresh your memory, because I can see you’re still confused. Remember your bachelor party? Or rather, the kind of sad mockery of one that she allowed you to have at the local bar?

Still not ringing a bell?

I guess you can be forgiven for not remembering. I had a wig on, and makeup, and a slinky dress. I may be a tomboy, but I clean up pretty good when I want.

[laugh] Now you remember. Yes, that girl. You look embarrassed.

But you shouldn’t be. You were the perfect gentleman.

You passed my sister’s stupid loyalty test.

Full Script Here

It takes a while for things to build here, so my teaser above is partway into the story and still doesn't get into the fun stuff. But ultimately, it's a story of boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy marries girl, girl cheats on boy, girl divorces boy, and boy then fucks her sister who just happens to be a tomboy a few years after her release from active duty.

Hopefully people enjoy this and the few references to the military make sense. I saw her as enlisting to honor family tradition and also paying for college, and her being stationed elsewhere kept her from being introduced to the listener at an inopportune time. The ages are vague here, depending on how long she was enlisted for, and in my mind not necessarily relevant to the story. And a person's age, voice, or whatever should never keep them away from the script they want to record.

If anyone wishes to make changes to this prior to recording, please feel free to do so.

Thank you for reading :)