*Writer's notes* It goes without saying that this is a massive departure from the stuff I usually do. As it is my first recording, I figured I might as well make it about my first time. This is the reason that one joke from the movie Mallrats always makes me laugh. It is also an exercise in vulnerability, which is a thing I sometimes struggle with. I don't know if anybody is actually going to find this sexy, but I figure that maybe there is a little sexiness to authenticity, here in this world of recorded fantasies. It's been a long time now, but this is how I remember it, with the only actual difference being that I do a lot more talking in this version (as this is an audio, after all). It's not terribly long (it was my first time!) but I think it does a good job encapsulating the experience. I'm not sure why anybody would want to record their own version of this, but I figure - what the hell? The script I wrote out is attached below, if you have a reason to have it.
*italics* Sound effects/nonlingual sounds (moaning, etc.)
[Brackets] Director's notes (to remind myself during recording)
Anyway…
[A little embarrassed] Hey uh, thanks again for driving. I just can't afford a new car after the old junker got totaled.
…
Hey, tiny wheels are better than no wheels at all. Besides, it's a classic - real deal, old-school, VW bug.
I'm glad you had a good time. I did too. I guess...I should probably head inside. Goodnight Honey.
*kiss, pause, extended kissing sounds, little noises*
[Breathy] I guess I don't need to go RIGHT now.
*kisses*
*thump*
Heh, It's a little tight in here isn't it? I mean, I'm six foot, and you have at least an inch or two on me. Three inches. [Joking tone] Well, that isn't emasculating at all...but seriously...are we going to make this happen in here? Oh Honey...we're getting right to business...well if you're putting a hand down my pants…
*pause*
No, no, it's good, it's just...I'm kind of having a hard time getting my arm down between you and the steering wheel. Actually now that it's there, I kind of feel like I'm about to snap my wrist. Could you lay the seat back a little?
[Laughing while hurting] oww...that seat's kind of got a hair trigger I guess. The zipper of your jeans almost took my hand off. Oh...you're going to take them off? Well, when in Rome.
*series of thumps* ahh, okay, I'm going to lay mine back before either my knee or this glove box breaks.
I...haven't gotten to see you with your pants off in a while. God living at home sucks. Oh...shirt too? Honey, we're right outside my house. I know it's late, but what if somebody sees?
...
*chuckle* Wow. Steaming up the windows seems like a bad joke, but...here we are. Okay, fair enough. Off comes mine then too.
*thump*
[Laughing] Damnit! How do you make this look so easy? Everywhere I put my elbow there's a door or a roof or...whatever. I just want to…
…
In the back? Well, I guess it is one long bench seat. Relatively long. Like, not long, but...okay yeah. Let me just crank...this...seat forward as far as it'll go, and…
*series of thumps and grunts*
*laughing* Now how do I regain my composure after a maneuver like that? *deep breath* [best bedroom voice] Care to join me? *snort*
Let me try and make room for you. With the seats pushed all the way forward, there might even be enough space to...oh…[breathy] you want to straddle me? Yeah, I'm sure we can figure that out.
*thump*
Ow.
Oh Baby...there we go. Oh Honey you're so wet...I'm not complaining but...oh, slow down. No no, it feels great, but if you keep jerking it that fast and that hard, [chuckle] I might get a rug burn on my dick.
Whoah...Honey...are you sure you...I mean, we don't have to...YEAH I want to but...you know, I haven't ever...yeah. You know. Also I...didn't think we were at that point yet, so I don't have any condoms.
…
Are you sure that's...okay? Oh...oh god...you...you feel amazing. Ahh! No, no It's just the..way I'm angled...it's okay! It's okay. Let's keep going. Yeah...let me just reach in between us so I can touch your clit. Over a little? Okay, just ah...ow ow ow. No...there's just...it feels like one of the seatbelts just pushed its way into my kidney. [Breathy laughing] Are you kidding? No I don't want to stop...heh...maybe it's good. I think being uncomfortable is the only thing keeping me from blowing up right now...you feel so good Honey.
God...Honey I don't think I'm gonna last. I'm sorry, this is just - oh slow down slow down slow- Unh!
*orgasm noises*
Keep...keep rubbing? Are you close? Yeah. Yeah, I'm not gonna stop. I won't...oh Holy shit! Hahah...I can actually feel you cumming. Oh… hah hah...wow.
Oh Honey that was...oh wow. Honey, I wish I could just lay with you but...not to like...kill the afterglow or anything, but I've been at a pretty weird angle for a while, and there's this cramp in my back that's getting pretty bad. Could we-
Oh god are you serious right now? I can't see through the windows, but those headlights have got to be my brother pulling up. Yeah, he and I always park over here. Don't...don't move for a sec, okay? Well would you want YOUR brother to catch you in the middle of...you know? Okay yeah the end, not the middle, but…[whispering] just be quiet a sec, okay?
*pause for a few beats*
...
*sigh* Yup. He totally walked a circle around the car before going in. I guess you can probably guess what's happening if the windows are all fogged up on a dry night. I'm sure I'll get a ration of shit for it when I go in.
So uh...you're going to kind of need to be the one to get into the front first. Actually, do you think you could just pass my clothes back to me? It might be easier for both of us.
Well...I think I'm going to have some marks and bruises to commemorate the experience, but...that was really great. Really. Wonderful. Was it...okay for you? Yeah? [Contented] Mmm. I'm...heh...going to start looking at larger vehicles when I've saved up enough for a new car. Maybe a minivan, or…
*kiss*
Okay. Yeah. Goodnight.
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