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"How does someone with no positive feelings about the beach write a beach script?" The answer I've settled on is one part leaning into it and like a dozen parts filling it with stuff I do like: tomboys, aggressive girls, tomboys, tiddy, tomboys, absurd premises, tomboys, and tomboys.
Ah, the beach bully. Is there a more quintessential symbol of summer for the unathletic nerd? Probably, since unathletic nerds usually don't go to beaches (god knows I don't), but work with me here.
The beach bully, popularized in the public consciousness by the Charles Atlas bodybuilding advertisements of the 1940s, is a symbol of both masculinity and terror for the meek and fragile, kicking sand in people's faces and stealing girls. So, in the grand tradition of lewd artists since the dawn of time, I asked myself...
"What if it was a hot chick?"
You're at the beach with your lifeguard girlfriend, when a fit, showoff-y beach bully tries to steal you for herself. But your sweetheart isn't planning on going down without a fight.
Interested? Then what are you waiting for? Stop gawking at me and start gawking at the hot amazons fighting over you!
CONTENT WARNING: This script contains discussions of female-on-male rape. They are not acted upon, and they are not at all portrayed seriously, but they are foundational to the premise of the script. In addition, the script also contains a brief moment of nonconsenual female-on-female touching.
ADDITIONAL CONTENT WARNING: This script contains one Inexaggerably Terrible Lifeguard Pun. Viewer Discretion Is Advised.
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