This one is going to get silly. This answers a question that came up in mind within the same month as I learned how sex worked as a kid. It has been dealt with comically in other mediums a little bit, but the subject still kind of makes me laugh. Mostly I just have a really dumb sense of humor. I don't know how actually erotic you'll find this one, as I mostly did it because it made me chuckle so...you have been warned? Squeaks, one of the primary heroes of the rest of the scripts, isn't in this one. That, coupled with the fact that it's kind of a goof, is why I didn't include it in the numbering.

Amatheia - A

Muriel - M

Urmi - U

You probably know the deal by now. Anybody who wants to fill this, feel free to tweak it however you want. Sound effects are purely what I hear in my head, and I know not everybody is inclined or set up to include them.

italics = special effects/nonlingual sounds (grunts, moans, and all the fun stuff)

[Brackets] = "Director's notes." Purely suggestions.

Anyway...

dripping water

A - [Intense whispering] ...it doesn't matter! We promised Muriel a human. Male. Does that look like a human to you?

U - [Intense whispering] At least I got something! Look, time's up! If it doesn't happen today, it's all over and she'll have to wait another whole cycle! And I didn't know the ship would be crewed by greenskins! Who even heard of that? Orcs on a boat…but at least I didn't come back empty-handed!

A - [Intense whispering] It's not like I haven't been looking! You know how slim the pickings have been! I have been swimming around the shipping lanes for weeks! It's not my fault landwalker boating technology and magic has gotten so much safer!

U - [Intense whispering] Look...one way or another, this orc is the best chance she's got. We're not going to pull out some kind of last minute Hail-Dagon and find a human sailor. We both know that. Besides, there's half-orc, half-humans, right? Maybe there can be half-orc, half-mermaids too! Or would that just be a merorc?

A - [Intense whispering] Urmi! Focus! He's waking up!

A- [Full volume, super upbeat] Hey there Mr. Orc!

U - [dripping with soft-spoken concern] Oh thank goodness! We were afraid you might never wake up!

A - Don't try to move too much Mr. Orc. You inhaled a lot of seawater. But you're safe now.

U - Your ship? Well, actually your ship is fine, I think. It looked okay last I saw it. There was a goblin on board that seemed pretty upset though. Such language! Anyway that big wave swept you right off the deck. You might have drowned, but luckily I happened to be close by to save you!

A - Oh, this is our bubble! It's pretty far underwater. It's a special thing we can do. Don't worry, It's stuck tight to the seabed here. It's a little rocky, but the location is nice. Do you like the crystals? They shine bright enough to keep the whole place pretty cozy. We brought you here to keep you safe. That's all.

U - Your clothes? Well, you know. It's so cold down here, and they were soaking wet. We know you landwalkers don't do very well in low temperatures, so, we took them off.

A - Honestly, I don't know why you guys even wear that stuff.

U - Yeah, landwalkers. You know, humans and elves and stuff. Things that...well, walk.

A - I think maybe he hasn't figured out what he's dealing with yet. Come on, Sis, let's climb all the way in.

splashing sounds

A - So yeah. Mermaids. I have to confess I always keep the tail hidden in the water for a little bit when I meet a landwalker. The look is always pretty priceless.

U - Sorry if we don't get up. You know. It would be pretty hard and look pretty silly.

M - [distant] echoing if possible, a simple up and down musical note

A - Oh, That's just our sister Muriel. She was just letting us know she's on her way. Um, just a moment.

U&A - Similar up and down musical note (if you aren't comfortable singing, dolphin sounds would be pretty funny)

A - Now...I think that maybe we should try and warm you up, Mr. Orc. We want to get you healthy and back on your feet, after all.

U - Oh wow...get a look at those muscles. So big and strong and fit...green is different, but it might not be a bad addition to the gene pool.

A - [quickly, uncomfortably] What my sister means is that you are a very strong specimen of manhood. Orchood? Whatever. Oh, and introductions are in order. After all...if we're going to warm you up with our bodies, you should probably at least know our names. I'm Amatheia…

U - And I'm Urmi. Now...let's make sure you're comfortable. Well how else are we going to keep you warm? Don't worry Mr. Orc. We're just going to press our bodies against your sides...put our hands on you...doesn't that feel nice? Ooh...I think it must. Look at that...your whatchamacallit is starting to get enbigged. 

A - irritated sigh It's ENGORGED, Urm. Landwalker male whatchamacallits get engorged.

U - Whatever. What? Penis? Well that's a dumb name. Well no. It doesn't really come up that much. Playful little laugh There ARE no male mermaids, silly!

A - [Hastily] That doesn't matter right now. [Cheery but a little seductive] What does matter is getting you all warmed up, and the best way to do that is to get the blood flowing. And nothing starts the blood flowing like an engorged whatchama - penis.

U - Excuse me. Amatheia knows this stuff. She's taken care of like, a lot of seamen. Wait...why are you laughing?

A  - You know what I think? I think that, right now, the two of us need to get down there and work extra hard on saving you. [mischievous giggle]

U - Oh wow! Mother Hydra's twisting tentacles! His balls are huge! I don't think they need any preparation at all!

A - [Irritated, hissing whisper] Urmi! [Playfully seductive again] Now now...we need to keep the blood pumping, sister, and nothing keeps that happening like licking a landwalker's balls. Now come put that wagging tongue to good use.

U - Yes...right. Ahh...do you enjoy having your balls licked and sucked Mr. Orc? We'll both work really hard to make sure it feels just right. I'll just suck this [mouth full part of the time] mmm tasty...tender one here...and Ams there can take the other…

protracted sucking, licking, and slurping noises from both Urmi and Amatheia

splashing noise

M - [brightly] Hey girls! gasp Is...is that…?

U - [pausing between sucks] Now Muriel, I know we said we'd find you a human, but-

M - [delighted, lovey-dovey] He's perfect!

A - [pausing between sucks] Wait...really?

M - He looks so big and strong and...oh I love you girls! Thank you so much! Is he prepared?

A - [guarded] Muriel, we don't-

M - My big strong man...do you feel the seed churning in your big balls for me? Are you ready to be a father to my children?

U - [nervously] Uh...yeah...I bet you DO have some questions.

M - You haven't told him yet?

A - [Irritated, through clenched teeth] Muriel...normally you don't tell them anything.

M - You don't? But...but he is going to be a father to my daughters! How can you not-

A - This isn't like the fairytales they tell in mersary school, Muriel. If you tell them, it usually freaks them out.

U - Well girls...catfish is out of the bag. I think we better level with the guy.

A - I'll explain. You, keep licking those balls.

U - [mouth full] Mmm with pleasure continuous kissing and licking sounds

A - So here's the deal, Mr. Orc. Mermaids don't have males to mate with. Don't mix us up with mermen...mermaids have a nice neat divide between what you people would probably call our fish parts and our people parts. Mermen are all...fishy-peopley all over. It's weird, and we aren't compatible. So we chase landwalker ships around, looking for sailors who fall overboard to save, and in return, we use them to...y'know...fertilize us. Anyway, this is Muriel's first time. 

M - giggle Hi.

A - ...and she can't really wait any longer. If she doesn't get squared away like...right away, it will be a whole cycle before she can breed again. In landwalker terms, that's a long time.

M - It is a very special thing - having our first batch of little daughters, my big, strong orc…and you are my only hope. Would you please give me your seed? Please...be the father of my children?

U - between sucks and little moans His Wha - penis is certainly saying yes.

A - I'm going to level with you Mr. Orc…this means a lot to my little sister, so unless you do the deed and give her the kids she wants, frankly, I'm just not letting you out of here. You'll drown if you try and swim out on your own. [A little more friendly] Come on...the process is pretty pleasant.

M - You...you will? Oh thank you my big, dashing landwalker!

A - Okay, move over Urmi. I want another taste of that big sack. Why don't you climb up and give him the play-by-play?

U - Mmm Okay! Let me just slide back up there. I'll talk you through the whole thing.

A - And Muriel, it's all yours. licking and kissing sounds

M - [excited, nervous] Ohh my first whatchamacallit! Please, my landwalker…it's my first time...give me a lot, Okay? sucking noises

U - Since we're being so honest here, Mr, Orc...the truth is that our saliva has special properties that increase the production of landwalker seed…[whispered seductively] It's why we've been licking your balls all this time. By now, you probably need to blow a load pretty bad...and it's gonna be a big one.

M - protracted sucking noises

U - You like the feeling of Muriel's mouth on you, don't you? We were born and raised for this...we learn how to suck the seed right out of a landwalker...every mermaid dreams about the first time she gets one of your penises in her mouth. See how she keeps her eyes on yours the whole time, even when she puts it down her throat?

M - more emphatic sucking noises and little moans

U - I think you're gonna give up all that tasty seed soon, aren't you? I can sense it. So can Muriel...I see how excited she's getting just thinking about it. Let it go, Landwalker...just let it all out. Oh I can feel you tensing. You're ready aren't you? Let go, Landwalker...just let go.

A - deep breath Remember Muriel, don't swallow. I think he's...yes, he's definitely about to-

M - full mouthed moaning sounds, sounding a little surprised at the end

A - Dagon's dangling denticles! I've never seen a landwalker blow so much that he puffed out a mermaid's cheeks before! Well Muriel...was it everything you wanted?

M - [full, closed mouthed] Mhmm!

U - Oh my great old one, she gave a thumbs up! Muriel you are priceless!

A - Now, landwalker...come to the edge of the bubble...you should count yourself lucky. Few from the surface world have ever witnessed the miracle of mermaid conception. Go Muriel. Quickly now!

splash

A - Look there, Mr. Orc. You see there? No, that isn't a weird looking plant. That's a clutch of Muriel's eggs. How have you fertilized them? Just watch. [Quietly encouraging] Go on...you can do it…

U - Oh this is so exciting! Our little Muriel is becoming a woman!

A - [joyous] Oh, a perfect spit! What a nice expansive cloud of seed! She'll have a thousand babies at least!

U - Yay!

A - What? It is NOT gross! It is beautiful and miraculous and you will...show the proper respect!

U - What, did you think you were going to shoot It in her cloaca? Gross, man. It doesn't really matter Ams. He won't be doing anything in a moment.

splash

M - Did I do good?

A - Oh Muriel you were amazing!

U - What was that, Mr. Orc? laugh Did you hear that girls? He wants to go home.

A - I'm afraid you have a final duty to your progeny, Mr. Orc. See, when merlings are born, they are born hungry, and they need a ready food source to keep from devouring each other. Well, to keep them all from devouring each other. [Dangerously] And that's where you come in. Claws out girls.

Sufficiently claw-extendy sound effect

M - I want to thank you, lover...you've given our children everything they could ever ask for...and they'll remember how your shredded remains tasted for the rest of their liAAAH!

splash, booming thud

U - Is...is that a marble statue of a scared human?

splash, booming thud

A - Hydra's herpes! They're falling through the top of the bubble! Where the hell are they-

splash, booming thud

U - That's...that's the boat the orc fell off up there. That goblin sure is mad.

splash, booming thud

A - Ah okay! Okay! Girls, we have a little time to find a sailor or something to chum up for Muriel's kids! Let's just give the orc back before one of us gets crushed!

splash, booming thud

A - Raise the bubble! Get him out of here!

M - Mr. Orc...it pains me to think our children will never know the taste of their father but...thank you.

U - Hey uh...speaking of tasting fathers, mermaid maturation happens a lot faster than for you landwalkers so uh...if in about six years or so, you encounter some really big, green mermaids...tell them not to breed with you. You might be their Daddy.

M - Farewell my landwalker! Farewell! 

splash of water