Moar tags: [speaking about battles to come] [fucking for courage] [CFNM] [strap-on over armor is a look] [handjob] [listener cums] [romance, if you squint] [dirty, knightly talk]

Summary:

Let slip the dogs of war! Well, tomorrow, anyhow. Tonight, let slip the fact that you’re fucking terrified. Your father, the duke, has seen war. His knights have seen war. Your mentor and guardian, a muscle-MILF knight, has seen war. But you? You’re a man, sure, but are you a manly man? The sort of guy who can ride across a field, braving arrows and hurled insults, before delivering a couched lance into someone’s face?

You have your doubts. But SHE doesn’t. She knows you’re brave as all hell. So brave, in fact, that you’re going to take a spanking and a pegging without complaint.

If you can stomach the fearsome sight of a lusty knight arrayed for battle with your booty, you can face any foe. After all, what danger do the spears of the enemy present when you already spent the evening before the battle being speared by the finest knight in all the land?

From the Goblin:

“It’s ‘writer appreciation month,’ I hear. So, get to appreciatin’! I expect the following:

1.      A procession of scantily clad lady-knights, some with big heavin’ titties, some with more modest bosoms, each more desirous of goblin cock than the last.

2.      One wedge of gouda cheese, one wedge of parmigiano ,and a bottle of milk. What, wine? Nah, I’m the dairy king.

3.      A pardon, issued immediately, and transport to a realm that doesn’t suck. I’m thinking the South of France: I would like a barony in the South of France. No, a dutchy! I’ve toiled too long in prison to settle for a lesser rank in the peerage.

4.      The skulls of my enemies, tastefully arrayed in my garden.

5.      The immediate imprisonment of each and every gnome in the land, and half of the elves as well.

Tyrant? Hah, how about “try-rent?” That is, try to pay your damn rents, peasants: the duke is in town!

--

I don’t think the Goblin would make a very good noble: he hasn’t heard what the French do to perceived tyrants, it seems. Still, in the spirit of the holiday, mayhap he could use a *little* appreciation. Not too much, though, lest he become truly insufferable. Many thanks to u/BotanicalSpringVA for the script suggestion: you are one of the finest knights in all the land! Now, real talk: battles are scary. So too is love, sometimes, but in finding our courage we sometimes find pleasures undreamt of!