Note: The rape tag is there just to be safe. This is basically two people blackmailing one another, after all!

Summary:

You took her to that concert in exchange for a quick spot of “femdom.” Now your stepsister needs help with her English Lit papers: university is a bitch, isn’t it? We all know where this is going, and so does she; that doesn’t mean she needs to be happy with it. Prepare for plenty of grossed-out comments and insults from your hot rocker stepsister, and pray she needs more help with homework in the future!

From the Goblin:

I have a stepsister, you know? A whole bunch of them, actually, on account of being a goblin and all. My most noteworthy stepsibling is Yezza the Kind, a freak seemingly intent on giving every goblin on this planet a bad name. Yezza was always weird, let me tell you. The first time an elf captive was brought to the tribe, do you know what she did? She refused to poke her with sharp sticks: how crazy is that? Here we were, prodding away, and she just kept saying stuff like “that’s mean” and “why are we doing this?”

A few years later, Yezza started to get real loopy. Started sayin’ maybe we ought to try and make peace with our neighbors, and even started a knitting club to make socks for all the displaced humans our tribe had created. Before long she even found herself an elven man and made him her husband, the dumbass! “Can’t make babies with ‘im,” I said, and she just smiled and replied “no, but there are plenty of orphans out there who could use a pair of loving parents.”

Last I heard, she had adopted four little shits, including one halfling twerp. Bah, what does she know about parenting? One of her not-quite-loins-spawn recently came out as a minstrel to her parents, and do you know what they did? They embraced her. Rumor has it Yezza even clapped her daughter on the shoulder and said this: “you want to make music out there in the world, eh? Well, can’t keep our little songbird to ourselves, can we? T’ain’t right that our lives have been filled with such beautiful music while everyone sits in silence. Go, my daughter: we’ll wait for your song to roll over the hills when you come to visit us.”

What a stupid stepsister Yezza turned out to be. As if letting your kid become a minstrel or troubadour (or \shudder* a bard) is good parenting. When has music ever—what, WHAT!? I’m brooding in here! Oh, Dame Meila, a pleasure to see you again. Want to fuck? Hey, where are you going?!*

Blast, stupid paladins. Wait, what is this that she threw at me? A letter? One second, dear reader. \Ahem**

“Dear Stepbrother,

How are you? I heard you were incarcerated by the paladins of the,” blah blah blah, get to the good part! “You wouldn’t believe the latest news from my daughter, Uldaith! As you may know, she became the official house minstrel of Lord Brasson, and told me a most extraordinary tale! You see, last week angry orcish envoys demanded the Lord surrender his lands and his womenfolk (and most of the menfolk too), but once their demands were made and it looked like war was on the horizon she stepped forward and asked the envoys to consider peace. She then sang them a song so wonderful, so moving, that the orcs not only retracted their demands, but swore an eternal vow of peace and mutual prosperity with the lord and his household. Isn’t that amazing? She would really appreciate if her uncle wrote to congratulate her, stepbrother, and I encourage you to—”

What a stupid letter. What, did she hit them with “Wonderwall” or something? Pathetic.

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The Goblin is once more working on requests, but needed a break to write what was on his mind: a sequel to this script, or at least a spiritual successor. We hope you enjoy a tale of gross stepbrothers and their annoyed, but ultimately accommodating, hot rocker stepsisters. And how many times does she need to tell you, loser: this isn't her putting on some femdom act. You just make her sick!