More tags: [fantasizing about being used by an orc tribe]

Summary:

Scandal! The orc chieftain comes to court asking for peace, and even gets naked in the process! What a barbarian: arrest him!

Of course, this is all a ploy. A political stunt, carefully calculated: the elf queen and the orc chieftain have already negotiated a peace treaty, and are just doing some performing for the hoi polloi. Look, it’s a bit confusing, but it’ll all work out. Our rude orc just needs to sit in a cell for a couple of days while the queen is “convinced” all he wanted was to foster peace and trust (by showing the whole elven court his dong, naturally). Then it’s treaty-signing and axe-burying time!

Though, there have been rumors at court about the elf queen’s fondness for orcs. Surely, that can’t be right? She arrested the naked orc, after all, and was quite outraged! She certainly doesn’t intend to visit him in his cell and engage in some spicy roleplay with a vicious orc conqueror? No, that would be scandalous, and the queen is a paragon of elven beauty and wisdom. Yup. That much is certain. Beyond doubting, even. Mhm.

From the Goblin:

Once, I was trapped in an elven queen’s prison. Over some minor misunderstanding, you see. She did come to visit me in that hole, and you know what happened? Well. . .it wasn’t quite like this tale. She mostly just made fun of me, and even had me tortured most heinously.

First, she made me take a bath. Scrubbed thoroughly and left without my natural goblin oils, she then clad me in fine garb and made me eat a meal of vegetables and sweetbread. I know, right?! How vicious of that woman. I have never forgiven her, and the years have done nothing to ease those painful memories.

I did end up dating her daughter for a while, though, mostly out of revenge. I even once showed her the meaning of “going goblin-mode,” leaving her a sweaty mess underneath my erotic onslaught. I wonder how she’s doing? Last I heard she was so broken up about me leaving that she tamed a dragon and began a quest to find me.

Honestly, the things those elves do for love. Though, perhaps she will free me from this prison and I’ll get to have a threesome with an elf and a dragon. Sounds exciting.

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Before the Goblin writes another request, he gives you this! War and Peace! Secrets and Sex! A tale of elven bums and orcish dongs! I believe he maintains that orcs are “like goblins, but without proper floppy ears,” so this might qualify as a self-insert. Honestly, who even knows anymore. Just indulge the little creature and have a read, eh?