Moar tags: [mentions of foot fetish] [speaker is bisexual] [self-loathing] [mentions of masturbation] [ultimately, a happy ending] [listener is hearing a confession]

Summary:

You, the listener, are hearing the confession of a highly-regarded paladin in service to your temple. While the faithful are not sworn to chastity, the holy knight sitting on the other side of the confessional feels as though she has perhaps crossed a line. Can you persuade her to let go of her guilt? Who knows, but you had better be ready for some steamy admissions!

From the Goblin:

Gnomes have a thing for feet, I hear. No, not like us normal folks: they REALLY like feet. If sex was nothing but people rubbing their feet against other feet in a shrine dedicated to the feet of a foot deity, they would be happy. I’m serious! I once travelled with a gnome who kept on taking off my boots in the middle of the night, thinking I was asleep or somethin’. At first I thought it was to steal the coins I keep hidden in my footwear (demonstrating the traditional goblin qualities of resourcefulness and a lack of respect for property rights), but the little bugger just sat there, sniffing the night away.

Can you imagine a gnome paladin? Greedy gods above, that holy bastard would probably insist on washing the feet of every damn beggar in the world. Never trust a gnome, I say, unless they’re offering advice on feet, clockwork things or pranks. You know, now that I think about it, two out of the three of those are not so bad. Maybe. . .maybe I was too quick to judge gnomes. . .

What was that feeling just now? Did I just. . .grow as a person? Damn it, fine: gnomes are alright, just make sure you keep your boots laced up nice and tight!  

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We’re back on paladins/lady knights, drawn to the allure of strong warrior women like iron to a magnet. I guess that’s just what the goblin loves most in the end. But, this isn't his confession, damn it! We're here to discuss what it is the noble paladin got up to.