"Oh, you're home from work! What have I been doing? Well, uh..."

I plan to write a fair few words here shortly, so for those in a hurry:

This is my first audio and youch so enjoy with caution.

The only other note is on the looming "[Coercion] [Rape]" double bill the keen eyed will have spotted on the marque. Some would say this audio is an edge case. Since I'm one of them, in the title it must go. Don't let it scare you off, I promise you were gentle.

Here it is, with my thanks for listening.

Now for the me and the freaks to get real. I don't know what the hell this thing is.

Oh hi, my name is Id.

This is the shortened version of an, in retrospect, quite silly account name. We can all thank u/badjhur for a very elegant suggestion. Creatively I was stuck between 'Ideal' which isn't, and 'Plaything' which I refuse to ask strangers to call me out loud.

We can also thank u/ambrosekincaidva for the existence of this audio. Or blame him, your call really. He not only encouraged me to take the leap, but answered each and every question I had while plummeting to the waterline. What of value can be found herein surely bears the very shape of his palms. At this point we are common law married.

Okay, that's enough glazing. What did I bring to show and tell? This is an ill conceived, roughly recorded, under scripted, hot little mess, that I am surprised to find I like. The process of making it has revealed to me I may have some mild, latent medical condition. Or, possibly, I got high on my own supply halfway through by accident. Scholars may debate.

What started as a remarkably lazy meta idea for a first attempt grew into something fun, with a plot and all. Somehow it's ended up twice as meta as planned, and far more honest. With any luck you fine folks will find this all as funny as I do. Not the banter of course (which is tolerably mid) but the rest of it. If you can't find the audio funny, I guarantee you'll laugh when I tell you this was really hard. And I was very brave at that.

What I mean to say is I appreciate any and all of you who take the time to listen to this. I hope to make many more, and with time I will smooth out these wrinkles. And find brevity.

It's my first time, be gentle.

- Id