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(f) Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to ‘fuck me socks’ season. The most wonderful time of the year..
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Now there’s a request I can easily fulfill. Stay right where you are..

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I can confirm you’re right about one, and wrong about the other - but I’ll let you guess which is which 🤔😉

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Oh gosh. A Russian model I most definitely am not. It’s all clever camera angles and fuckery, I can assure you. I’m actually a 5’2, “baby bombshell”, that can barely see over the counter in Starbucks IRL.

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Yes. I debated that myself, but my mind went blank on all other phrases that meant little, but curvy 🤔 Probably should have just stuck with: Nah, fam, I’m short.

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Well I’ll be waiting. In my ‘oh yeah’ socks.

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Glad to have been of service. Maybe we should declare a season for sundress and fuck me sock combos

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Then in the bathroom brushing our teeth. That's all part of the foreplay, I love foreplay.

Then you go sort out the recycling. That isn't part of the foreplay, But it's still very important

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Well my mouth does...

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You know, I’ve been driving myself crazy trying to remember, and I can’t, for the life of me, think. They just my nasty-ass old boot socks 🤷🏼‍♀️

I’m going to go out on a limb and say, Target, as virtually everything that I don’t remember buying has usually come from having ‘popped in to Target for milk’

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😸 Double duty!

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Um... is it wro.... you know, it’s hard to answer when I’m so distracted by your username. Have you tried sudocrem?

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Nailed on! When the socks go on, the girl wants to get off.

You’re so welcome ;)

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I haven’t! Good tip 👍🏼

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Yes. There’s always that.

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That. Was. AWESOME 😄👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

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The socks are pleased to hear it

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Making love for two whole minutes!

That song will never get old 😄

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Yep. It’s Wednesday night, and you know what happens on Wednesday night...

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How charming 😏

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Ha ha ha ha. I can’t believe there isn’t a better option for horny boys then ‘the sock’

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Awwwww. Make me blush, baby

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I’d love you to try.

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That couldn’t be less true, but I love you for saying it.

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Well I’d hate to put you off your stroke with my weird webbed toes and claw like nails

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How did that work out for you?

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I’ll bring crumpets

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Love it so much

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I feel duty bound to investigate. For science.

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Why, thank you, good sir

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Maybe if you call them ‘make gentle and respectful love to a girl you are committed to’ socks, it will go over better with Mother.

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Ha ha. My favorite comment of the night.

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Oh thank you! Awww. Someone that finds me blurting out nonsensical phrases, charming. We should hang out.

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5 years ago