This got stuck in the mind so wanted to put it to paper.

I stopped playing GFL at end of Mirror Stage. Since then between life, (not putting crap ton of money into gatcha games) and other events, I just haven't felt the need or want to continue doing daily grinds into GFL 1 despite how much I've already invested not only money, but also in the lore, environment, and frankly characters and story. Not to be weebish but I could relate to SKK, genuinely cared about the dolls as characters and appreciated the ups and downs of the story.

Today as I was going through and deleting unnecessary stuff for my phone, ran into some GFL fan art (kalina and 45 my waifus), and thought back to gfl 1 which I still had downloaded. I decided to log in and after (8 gigs!!!) downloading, logged back in, and it presented me with my last log in date, rough stats, timeline of events (including ones that I missed from mirror stage onward), and welcomed me back.

That last statement of welcoming me back as the SKK sprite greeted AR team/GHK dolls - just made me really depressed. Also with the messaging of the dolls "looking" for me, and kalina's welcome back message, I just felt like I had abandoned not only the memories I made back then and joy of playing GFL, but also in a way abandoned these characters I invested in.

The worst part of it all is - I still don't want to continue playing. I'm good with not being stuck to a gatcha daily, and frankly GFL 1 the app itself takes up a shit ton of space on the phone and part of me wants to delete it. But I cant shake now the sense of guilt much in the same way SKK is presented in the story of abandonment, and seeking GFL 2 highlighting alot of how SKK burnt alot of bridges (at least to my estimate to include with Kalina) in relationships... sucks. As I type I just feel guilt, and sadness reading the fluff of the dolls/kalina greeting me back and knowing that I won't be logging in tomorrow, or likely for a(nother) long time.

Even trying to get back into it, there is an entire armor mechanic that I have no idea works, I have no idea (been trying to read or watch cutscenes of the story but I'm already lost) what's happened since Mirror Stage end, not to mention no idea on any of the new dolls or characters. Maybe in the future I'll go back in, but by then GFL 2 is out, and god knows how much of a learning curve it'll be to catch up to whatever events have happened, assuming Mica doesn't shut down GFL 1 after 2's release.

While there is fanart, even story updates, recaps, merch and so on, I can't shake now the guilt from stepping back in and seeing all of the welcome back stuff, and just feeling like I abandoned something close. Obviously this is bit of projection in terms of these characters aren't real, Kalina and 45 isn't real, but still I remember the joy of seeing the art and model after a long day at school or work, and feeling as if hey I'm SKK and actually care about this virtual character.

Idk if there are any other veteran SKK's out there, especially those who was there at EN launch (my profile is that old!!) but as a point of discussion, has anyone else felt a sense of guilt and sadness at stepping away from this? If so, how did you rationalize it?