A few weeks ago after a fourth date, a guy ghosted me after explaining why he was more or less. He thought he was ready for a relationship and in turn he actually wasn’t and wanted to work on himself. I wanted to show support by being there if he needed me as a friend or anything and that’s when the ghosting started. It hurt. I’ll say it put me exactly in the sort of mindset he was supposedly in.

Now I’m attempting to continue on dating and talking to people and I’ve found myself feeling like I need to work on me. The exact same things he said to me, I’m saying to others. And those others are saying the exact same things I said to him and I’m finding it annoying. I appreciate their care, but I’ve in so many words, voice notes, messages have told two guys specifically that I’m just not ready and I apologized profusely for that.

But now I’m wondering if the guy that hurt me felt this way too? If so, I feel awful. I know it doesn’t condone ghosting, but right now I have nothing to give to anyone and the fact that anyone is willing to “wait” for me who I barely know is giving me so much anxiety. I don’t want them to wait. I want to be able to heal in peace and not have them wait for some broken version of me.

And I’m also wondering if I should apologize to that guy for not understanding how he must have felt.