This is a short summary of my life. I'm a 47y old male. Surgeon. I will convert the earnings to USD - all after tax.

I come from a central Europe country. 20 years ago, after university, I made $5k / year as a junior doctor. I got engaged, married, first child was born. Our parents helped us to buy an apartment. We sold it after 2 years, made some money and bought a few plots of land - we wanted to build a house there.

Then we made the decision to move to western Europe. We kept the land. My first salary as a resident was 30k / year. After two years we bought a great house, I put about 50k into renovation. The mortgage payments were crazy, about 50% of my salary. But we wanted it, now. We were 30-something years old.

A few years later, at the end of my residency, I had some extra jobs as a freelance doctor beside my clinical work and I made 70k. Still, we NEVER had any money left, we always lived from paycheck to paycheck (actually pay-transfer ;). Nice furniture. New equipment for my wife's freelance activities. Nice holidays. Helping my alcoholic mother-in-law, helping all her family. I was working sometimes 15-20 24 hour shifts to maintain that lifestyle. Still no money left...

2-3 years later I changed my job, I became an attending surgeon, we had to move. We sold the house and had $80k EXTRA money left. We made a great deal.

We move to the countryside, with the money we bought a plot of land, a beautiful one, on the top of a hill, we decided to build a new home and an extra small office building for my wife's freelance job. The worst decision in my life. We hired an architect, we made great plans. My bank gave me all the money, I needed and more. I took 600k and 50% of the house was ready..... The mortgage payment started. 50% of my salary, AND the renting of the apartment we lived, AND our high level lifestyle... from paycheck to paycheck....

I couldn't maintain it anymore. There was no way out. The bank didn't want to give me more.

I decided to leave for middle east. I got a great job, was making 300k / year, that's 25000 USD per month after tax (there is no tax here). I still needed more than 6 months to pay off the construction companies for the house. We sold the unfinished house after 2 years (nobody wanted to buy it!) with a huge loss of almost 100k... there is still the mortgage loan which I am paying every month..

My wife and kids moved to me. There was no other option that to rent a huge house, buy a huge car, buy all the furniture and equipment. In the first year my CC dept reached 30k and stayed like that until recently..

Ang guess what - EVEN THE SALARY OF 25k / month WAS NOT ENOUGH. PAYCHECK TO PAYCHECK!

After 2 years the whole stress, my wife's infidelity (another story), and other things broke me. I made more money, 400k but I became sick, depressed, wanted to commit suicide. Meanwhile we and mostly she was spending all the money. In the last months she manipulated me to pay off my mother-in-law's loan, 10k...

I reached the bottom, I filed for divorce, we agreed that she will keep the land in our home country, she will keep the car, I keep the remaining mortgage loan.

I am almost 50. I have nothing. I pay my ex-wife 5k / month for the children. She moved back to my home country and has an income 4x the average income from my payments - still complaining all the time that "she cannot survive like that".. It's a joke.

I have nothing, I have in total about 90k debt left. I live a simple life, all I have is my knowledge and experience as a surgeon, I try to have a life - sometimes to take a few days off and travel a little, but my priority is to be debt free in 12 months max, and to start a new life...

But the most important thing - I have a very supportive partner, a women with her own business, who pushes me to pay the debts and not spend the money for useless things. And I am a new person. I control all my expenses. There is hope...

The funny thing is - When I made 1k/month , I was thinking "when I make 2k all my problems will be solved". When I made 2k/month, I was thinking "when I make 5k all my problems will be solved". When I made 5k/month, I was thinking "when I make 8k all my problems will be solved". When I made 8k/month, I was thinking " when I make 10k all my problems will be solved"...

Then suddenly I started to make 25k and later 30k/month and I had the same f**king problems!!!

What I learned?

1. Never EVER spend the money that you don't have. My dream is to be debt free and I also wouldn't like to have ANY credit cards, but I will keep two because you can still have some rewards and sometimes it's necessary (rental cars, hotels).
2. First make some money, have a safety net so you can live without any problems and without any income for 6-12 months.
3. Invest early, move a small amount of money into investment every month - as early as possible when you are still young.
4. Don't listen to your woman and don't let her spend the money you earn. Better: DON'T MARRY! I would never marry again. Marriage is the love killer after years. I am much happier in a relationship without marriage. Think before you get kids. I love my kids, but I wouldn't decide to have kids again.