Prologue

A complex, contradicting, easily elusive enigma (why this unconventional ad is damn long lol). So, please read through the whole post—our decisions determine our destiny!

Chapter Ⅰ: About me

My tantalising, tumultuous tale trials with aesthetics, excellence, generosity, heroism, justice, kindness, light, neuroticism, optimism, quirks, romance, shyness, utility, wisdom, xenophilia, youth, zeal—indeed an idiosyncratic individual. A figure fierce with fire, despite my mellow mire, as my volatile but valiant vulnerability, somehow, sadly, beguiles the bumbling, yet burlesque bullies to me lol. Whilst perhaps the perfect prize unto the gracious gentlewoman? Endowing my crucial, compassionate care, to expunge your desolate, devastating despair? 🥰

A British liberal-leaning spiritual Muslim/perennialist (NOT religious, too long explaining what I mean rn lol), nerdy with video games (Nintendo, retro, JRPGs (Dragon Quest, Final Fantasy, Fire Emblem, Xeno)) with game collections; tech (particularly cybersecurity/privacy); animals; languages (an aspiring polyglot, learning Japanese currently); psychology/mental health; humanities; (geo)politics; geography; and random trivia (mum says I know too much lol). A charming combination of changing cultures and creeds. 👀

Philosophically, melancholically misanthropically extrapolate everything as the decisive devil’s astute advocate, lunging in with my liberal life-lamenting to people (though dislike debates, prefer discussion). Whilst wisely open-minded with oddball, oxymoronic people…like ‘ethical billionaires’? 😂

Clingy and cuddly, lavishing lots of loving attention and affection, picturing being pursued by my protective princess in shining armour. Total sweetheart material. An extraverted introvert INFJ on the MBTI—connoisseurs seeking conversation that’s affectionately authentic, yet deeply diligent. :)

Random facts:

• Prefer female friends, having many online whom I love dearly, and in return, being mostly tomboy nerdy women; they’re hot af lol. A testimonial from my dear domme friend, here on Reddit!
• I have high functioning autism (ASD) & borderline personality disorder (BPD). In therapy, as I struggle with society, feeling both a normie & weirdo everywhere—it’s hell.
• Most ‘happy holidays’ are cringy. Much of so-called ‘Muslim culture’ is too, and it’s pretentious cosplaying as a holy man: something I’m not. 😂
• But! I do cosplay at cons, can craft props too. Won’t reveal character for now, but a striking hero, swinging quite the sturdy sword & shield. 👀
• Slackingly seeking fitness, I need to be um…more menacingly manly? Hehe 💪
• Never have, but would love to vacation the vast, wide world, exploring fantastical nature.
• Swiped right 0.8% of ~35,000 Bumble profiles…they say women are picky, but I’m an even pickier bastard 😂
• Mostly live under a rock with pop culture, for example only listening to video game music… 🥹
• Not much of a foodie, but I’m a slight tea and chocolate nerd, hehe

Looks are vital (though I care more personality), will show me once comfortable. I appear & sound adorably, alluringly attractive, apparently. Pakistani, ‘normal’ looking with an edge, light skinned, hazel eyes (people can’t escape my eyes), black curly hair, 5’8, slim, tend to dress somewhat smartly, resting bitch/sad face, soothing ASMR-ish Bri’ish London voice lol

Chapter Ⅱ: Sexuality

Being too vanilla-ish for kinky, and too kinky for vanilla—while hornier than heights—I seek a tamely tempressly, motherily mischievously, service top pleasure domme. That angelically adores, gently graces, yet forwardly flirts and sensually shudders the shit out of me. Leaning more as a receiver, I’d hope the m-mumbling moans & orgasms organically pressed & produced from me—your slut toy—would gratifyingly get y-you off. Mouldably masochistic, it also feels pertinent p-pleasing for your pleasure, and for your very valued validation. In short, I’m quick q-quivering to your demanding, daring demeanor… 😳

Not only that, a ripe recipe for an orally fixated, feral predator—kisses, bites and blowies ignites my instincts. It’s a tad primal thing? Hopefully pleasing you too? W-whimpering and writhing from my ‘fear’ of you, as your prey to be hastily hunted? Yet you pique with powers of probing, pouncing, and preying upon me, as I r-reluctantly…‘resist’. But then you eagerly edge with your menacing mouth, own my orgasm, and devour your delicious delicacies squirting from my s-squirming soul… @.@

Perversions are pleasing from witty women, wilfully wide open with their whirlwinds of whipping lusts. That my hot, hardy horny can zap them with zestful zeal! But I’m to be innocently issued and joined to jesting, jolting jokes of yours. A benign boy—kindly kissless, vulnerable virgin victim—yearning to yield and yell to your gentle, yet grabby greed… 🥹

Chapter Ⅲ: Potential Preferences and Problems

I like thinking we can work things out despite what I prefer, so here are some points:

• Calling myself an egalitarian, I’m sorry many malevolently misogynistic men exist—even I resent other guys myself! But I can’t handle endless projections of male-hostility…we aren’t monoliths, and I have related trauma. Though I dance with dry, deadpan humour, poking gender stereotypes, so I don’t want to tip-toe around…why I love so-called ‘pick me’ women 😂
• I want to be pursued & wooed, not booed & shooed, and idk how I attract avoidant people. Quality time—defined by frequent, vibing voice calls, soon after meeting—is my love language. Hope to meet irl too if near.
• And don’t lead me on and then ghost man, it fucks me up! Be (gently 🥺) direct if issues arise. I wish to be good to you, but I sadly can’t mind-read! 😭
• Yet while I’m quite needy, I still desire a healthy, balanced relationship, living our full lives without suffocating each other.
• I’m authentic & vulnerable, please don’t say “get therapy” (which I already am) to dismiss me, it hurts seen as ‘broken’ to befriend. :/
• I’ll only migrate to: Telegram/WhatsApp/Signal/Session. No Discord, Snapchat or others, hating social media for various reasons.
• Despite believing in LGBTQ rights, I’m just not attracted to trans people, sorry.
• I feel safer with a bit older women than me, but please be 21 .
• No heavy drugs/smoking/alcohol, a little is ok though.

Into intimate inclinations:

• Seems contradictory, but: I adore tomboyish/gentlewomanly yet feminine women, with little-to-no makeup, tattoos & piercings, ‘masculinity’ & ‘femininity’ both balanced, not very into makeup/beauty, nor too butch, nor hardcore goth/alt fashion—someone mostly ‘normal-looking’ with a slight edge.
• Open to making myself enjoy intimate acts outside of what I prefer, fervently fearing being ‘selfish’. But I think there’s women out there that mesh more with me. Maybe things will change with age & experience…? 🤔
• Not visual-inclined, clothing like lingerie/leather/latex makes me zzz…personality & sensuality matter more to me. Though I’d love to be objectified, so CFNM seems appealing?
• Also sounds contradictory, but I don’t seek hardcore kinky lifestyles. Don’t want 24/7 subservience to a dominatrix, as sex isn’t my whole life.
• Wanting me to ‘dom’. I crave blowjobs, but hate head-grabbing and hurt women. And I’m not your fucking daddy! 🤮
• And though I’m eccentric, I’m not into feminisation/crossdressing. Not a femboy/sissy lol
• Slightly lean ethical non-monogamous (ENM), unsure specifically.
• I love kids, but don’t think I’ll have them in this life.

Finally: being judgemental. I realise I seek the holy grail of women, and I’m terrified making ‘mistakes’. But my heart illuminates with unwavering resolve, so compromising what’s critical to me isn’t what I do. Please empathise & understand, not judge & nitpick. Tl;dr piss off, fucking cunts, or you’ll get what’s coming! 👀

Epilogue

Now that you’ve read my tale, where will it end?

Route Ⅰ - ghosted, bad ending: An 80% rate of me ghosted…will you be the victorious 20%? ;_;

Route Ⅱ - close, platonic friends (men open too): Hope the RNG of life at least gets us this 12% rate. 🥹

Route Ⅲ - ethical FWB: emphasis on friend, still a ‘serious’ relationship to me. 7% likelihood.

Route Ⅳ - your favourite person in the world: That we—my heroine—will be together, forever…but unhappily unlikely as my romantic criteria is extremely strict: a 1% rate. 😂

To queue for this quest (before others win), kindly make me feel safe, and brief about yourself what ignites your interest in me wanted route location age (not “Hey”)! Again, if you feel we won’t mesh quite right, still don’t hesitate messaging—I’ll respond to most (if not an obvious bot/troll/have absolute dealbreakers), and I’m sure we can work things out, so your effort isn’t wasted (I know what it’s like). Relationships are about mutual enjoyment, compromising happily. :)

(God I’m such a lowlife spending so much time on this ad. And I didn’t use AI at all 😂)