Prologue

A walking contradiction, being an enigmatic yet easily elusive person. Please read through the whole post—our choices determine the perilous path we’ll take!

Route Ⅰ: ghosted, bad ending. An 80% rate of me ghosted…will you be the victorious 20%? ;_;

Route Ⅱ: platonic friends ending (men open too)…hope the RNG of life at least gets us this 12% rate. 🥹

Route Ⅲ: ethical FWB ending, emphasis on friend, still ‘serious’. 7% likelihood.

Route Ⅳ: your favourite person ending, that we—my heroine—will be together, forever…but unhappily unlikely: a 1% rate. 😂

With that said, where will destiny take us? 👀

Chapter Ⅰ: About me

My tantalising, yet tumultuous tale is trialed with aesthetics, excellence, generosity, heroism, justice, kindness, light, neuroticism, optimism, quirks, romance, shyness, utility, wisdom, xenophilia, youth, zeal—indeed an idiosyncratic individual. A figure fierce with fire, despite my mellow mire, as my volatile but valiant vulnerability, somehow, sadly beguiles the bumbling, yet burlesque bullies to me lol. Whilst perhaps the perfect prize unto the gracious gentlewoman? Endowing my crucial, compassionate care, expunging your desolate, devastating despair? 🥰

A Pakistani British liberal-leaning Muslim (or spiritual theist, too long explaining why lol), nerdy with video games (Nintendo, retro, JRPGs (Dragon Quest, Final Fantasy, Xeno especially)), tech (particularly cybersecurity/privacy), animals, languages (an aspiring polyglot, learning Japanese currently), psychology/mental health, humanities, (geo)politics, geography and random trivia (mum says I know too much lol). A charming combination of ever-changing cultures and creeds. 👀

Melancholically misanthropic, I extrapolate everything as the decisive devil’s astute advocate, lunging in with my liberal-leaning life-lamenting to people (though dislike debates, prefer discussion). Whilst wisely open-mindedly listens to odd, oxymoronic…’oddballs’, like ‘ethical billionaires’! 😂

Clingy and cuddly, lavishing lots of loving attention and affection, picturing being pursued by my protective princess in shining armour. An INFJ on the MBTI, connoisseurs seeking conversation that’s deeply diligent, yet affectionately authentic. :)

Random facts:

• Prefer female friends, having many online whom I love dearly, and in return, being mostly tomboy nerdy women; they’re hot af lol. Here’s a testimonial from my dear domme friend!
• I cosplay at cons, started crafting. Won’t reveal for now, but a striking hero, swinging quite the sturdy sword 👀
• Have high functioning autism (ASD) & borderline personality disorder (BPD) (isn’t it obvious?), in therapy & struggle with society, feeling both a normie & weirdo everywhere—it’s hell.
• Slackingly seeking fitness, I need to be um…more menacingly manly? Hehe 💪
• Most happy holidays are cringe to me. Much of ‘Muslim culture’ is too lol
• Would like to vacation the vast, wide world, exploring the fantasy of nature…never have before.
• Swiped right 0.8% of ~35,000 Bumble profiles, a picky bastard indeed. 😂
• Live under a rock with pop culture mostly, for example only listening to video game music… 🥹
• Not much of a foodie that my life revolves around it.

Looks are vital (though I care more personality), will show myself once comfortable. I appear & sound adorably, alluringly attractive, apparently. ‘Normal’ looking, light skinned, hazel eyes (people can’t escape my eyes), black curly hair, 5’8, slim, resting bitch/sad face, soothing ASMR-ish London voice lol

Chapter Ⅱ: Sexuality

Being too bottomly vanilla-ish for kinky (and vice versa), I seek a tame temptress, service top domme. That gently graces, angelically adores, forwardly flirts, and sultrily shudders the shit out of me. As your slut boy, I’d hope the m-mumbling moans and orgasms organically pressed and produced from me would gratifyingly get y-you off. Mouldable, it feels pertinent p-pleasing for your pleasure, and for your very valued validation. In short, I’m quick q-quivering to your demanding, daring demeanor… 😳

Not only that, a ripe recipe for an orally fixated, feral predator—kisses, bites and blowies ignites my instincts…it’s a tad primal thing? Pleasing you too? As I w-whimper and writhe from my ‘fear’ of you, being your free-ranging prey? Yet you pique with powers of probing, pouncing, and preying upon me, as I r-reluctantly…‘resist’. But you win, devouring your delicious delicacies squirting from my s-squirming soul… @.@

Perversive positivities are pleasing from witty women, wilfully wide open with whirlwinds of lashing lusts. That my hot, holding, hardy horniness zaps them with zestful zeal! But innocently issued to be joined to your jesting, jolting jokes. A benign boy—kindly kissless, vulnerable virgin victim—yearning to yield and yell to your gentle, yet grabby greed… 🥹

Chapter Ⅲ: Potential Preferences and Problems

I loathe lying—and it sucks having to be so specific—so, here’s what I seek…but I’m open to working things out despite the ‘dealbreakers’:

• Male-hostility. Calling myself an egalitarian, I get there’s many malevolently misogynistic men, and I’m sorry. But misandry isn’t helpful…we aren’t monoliths, and I can’t handle judgements projected on me because of it. Though my dry, deadpan humour pokes gender stereotypes, so I don’t want to tip-toe around…why I love so-called ‘pick me’ women 😂
• I’m emotionally vulnerable and seek authenticity, please don’t say “see a therapist” (which I already am) to dismiss me, it hurts being seen too ‘broken’ to befriend. Mutual emotional support is crucial. :/
• Idk how I attract avoidant people. I want to be wanted, not neglected…and don’t ghost man, it’s fucking painful! Be (gently 🥺) direct, so we can problem solve. I wish to be good to you, but I can’t mind-read… 😭
• And though I’m quite needy, I still want a healthy, balanced relationship, living our lives without suffocating each other.
• Scorning social media, I’ll only migrate to: Telegram/WhatsApp/Signal/Session. Won’t use Discord, Snapchat, or others.
• If we vibe, I’d want to voice call soon after; feels more ‘real’. Hope to meet in person too, especially if near.
• Dislike heavy drugs/smoking/alcohol, a little is ok.
• Prefer slightly older women to me, but please be 21 .
• Just not attracted to trans people, sorry.

More intimate clashes:

• Prefer little-to-no makeup, tattoos & piercings. I adore ‘feminine tomboyish’ women, balanced with ‘masculinity’ and ‘femininity’, not very into makeup/beauty, nor hardcore goth/alt fashion.
• Wanting me to ‘dom’ you. Love blowjobs, but hate head-grabbing and hurting women. And I’m not your fucking daddy 🤮
• A BDSM lifestyle…don’t want a dominatrix, nor subservience to you 24/7…life is beyond sexual dynamics.
• Feel almost nothing erotic thinking about PIV sex, which I guess is weird?
• Anal/pegging…though maybe I can if you convince me hard enough? 😂
• I know I’m eccentric, but not into feminisation/crossdressing. Not a femboy/sissy lol
• Clothing like lingerie/leather/latex makes me zzz…personality matters more…
• Love kids, but think I shouldn’t have them in this life.
• Piss and shit stuff. shrug

Finally, the biggest bump: being judgemental. I realise what I seek is a niche needle in a haystack—the holy grail of women. I’m…truly terrified doing the ‘wrong’ thing. Yet determined, as compromising what’s crucial isn’t worth living through, trying so hard. Please have compassion and understand, not judge and nitpick. Tl;dr don’t be a jealous, judgemental cunt, or you’ll fucking get what’s coming 👀

Epilogue

To queue for this quest (before others win 👀), kindly make me feel safe, and preferably use Reddit chat, briefing about yourself what ignites your interest in me wanted route location age (not “Hey”)! Again, if you feel we won’t mesh quite right, still don’t hesitate messaging, I’ll respond to most (if not an obvious bot/troll/have absolute dealbreakers). I’m sure we can work together, so your effort isn’t wasted (I know what it’s like), as relationships are about mutual enjoyment, compromising happily. :)

(God I’m such a lowlife spending so much time making this post 😂)