I’m having a lot of trouble communicating my position and preferences, either that or I’m encountering men who are very bad at listening?

When I say I’m ‘soft’ or ‘gentle’, I’m not being coy. I’m not inviting someone to push at my boundaries until I give in like a CNC. I mean it.

As a switch this is causing me some grief in friendships and relationships online.

When I’m domming I will not, indeed I cannot hurt you. No matter how much you might tell me you like it. I cannot humiliate or belittle you. I can’t deny you in any meaningful way. I’m soft. That’s not an invitation however for you to assume that I’m actually a sub and turn the tables... because when I’m subby I am NOT ok with being hurt. I’m not ok with being humiliated, degraded or denied in the classic sense. I’m not playing at being soft, I’m not role playing it.

I hung up on a discord call today because the other party seemed to think my boundaries were open to subversion by persistence! They’re not! I’ve done things with some partners that were heavier, leaned rougher, BUT those were very specific circumstances with someone I knew well, trusted, and who made me feel safe. You don’t get to go pushing at someone’s stated boundaries ten minutes in.

I’m sorry, I don’t even know what I want here? A cuddle maybe? Someone to tell me I’m reasonably articulate and it’s not my fault that some people just aren’t listening!?!?!?🥺