Originally posted to my fetlife journal.

“What are you into?” I hear this question a lot when introducing myself as a submissive male. It’s not an easy question to answer though. Identifying the audience for the answer is hard enough: is this a potential play partner? A potential relationship? A friend? Some rando wanting to be a voyeur into my experiences and fantasies? The real trouble comes in the introspective reality of figuring out what it is I am actually “into”.

For years my list was the standard list of kinky activities: I like rope, floggers, canes, edging, power exchange, house services, massage, mind fucks… the list went on and on and on. I’ve done much with a handful of different people. Some within a dynamic, some within the confines of a particular club/con scene. What I discovered is that what I’m actually into is bringing joy to my partner. In every experience where I’ve truly enjoyed releasing myself to a Dom/Domme the carrying element was the expression of joy from that person.

Yes, I enjoy being tied up; but tying me up and laughing at my struggles, or the wicked grin and flicker of pleasure in your eye: that’s what gets me. THAT is what I’m “into”. Yes, I am a masochist and have a high pain tolerance. Higher than most I’ve met. It’s that moment when my noises and writhing make you laugh, or the devilish smile as you tell me all the sinister and diabolical things you’re about to do to mark my flesh… THAT is what I’m “into.” Yes, I am a service sub. I enjoy taking care of you, providing services that make your life easier and more pleasurable. I’ll clean, do dishes and laundry, fix that broken cabinet door, trim the tree in the backyard, replace the spongy light switch in the bathroom… but it’s the feeling of being useful to you, to see you at peace with your surroundings and in that peace I feel as a valuable addition to your life. Seeing you relaxing into a moment of simple peace when whatever mundane part of real life that had been weighing you down is suddenly lifted. THAT is what I’m “into”. My list of kinky activities that I’ll take part in is tremendous and ever growing. What I seek are ways to allow you to release yourself into pleasures and joys and being the vessel that delivers that into your life. Tie me up, beat me, make me beg or crawl, let’s cuddle on the couch with a book or binge Netflix under a blanket all night. We can fuck till the rooster crows, relax with a bath and hot tea or glass of wine… In the end it’s my quest to unravel the mysteries and discover all the best ways to bring a smile to your face and a peace into your life.