This is a post about a specific subtype of domme/sub dynamic that I will be referring to as domme/slut.

My aim here is to sketch a portrait of this dynamic and offer ideas for dommes about ways they may enjoy the fruits of their subs’ sluttiness.

What is a slut?

A slut is a sub who’s submissiveness comes in the form of weakness towards sexual arousal—they see “succumbing” to sexual craving itself as a form of submission. They basically fall into pathetic sexual compulsion at the soonest hint it is “OK.”

Why?

Like most forms of sluttiness, sluts usually come from a background of slut-shaming. Usually this begins in family dynamics where prudery is treated as a virtue, as though sexuality itself is fundamentally “tainted.” This is exceedingly common these days.

There are reasons for that, but they’re beyond the scope of this post—basically comes down to people being dishonest with themselves and projecting that out onto others to soothe the pain.

In short: sluts have an adversarial relationship with their own sexuality. It pains them.

And this is an opportunity for you, their domme’s.

Caring for your slut

Sluts, especially male sluts (boysluts), often struggle with “cold-start” sexual initiation. They have been indoctrinated into the notion that what they want is something harmful to others. They’ve been cast as victimizers, and they’ve internalized this. Though, through their eyes, they just want to give their love—their love just happens to be highly sexual, even vulgar—because it is not asexual, the whole of it is colored with this sense of “badness.”

They essentially have intense, existentially-painful cognitive dissonance that the are wronging someone by loving them. That their love is somehow bad, and should be kept to themselves.

This agonizes the slut, cutting him off from the tenderest parts of himself, pitting him at war with his basic human nature.

Paradoxically, this is what actually results in actual badness: self-loathing, jealousy, resentment, etc. And that is what has ill effects in the world. Say, lying, for example. All bad things have that seed of self-denial at their core, motivating the “steal”—like one’s gain must come at others’ expense, so “fuck it.”

It truly is a fucking shit show. Fuck prudery. This is why we can’t have nice things.

Anyway.

The opposite of pain is pleasure

That’s all heavy and terribly “icky”; a bunch of shame and darkness resulting in pain.

But this is an opportunity.

Here is where you are your slut’s domme most: you normalize that which they cannot control. You do this by taking ownership over it.

Caring for your slut is a matter of taking what he finds guilt-provoking—his libido—and appropriating it, as some kind of behavioral plaything for your amusement, or pet, for your care. You offer him the opportunity to submit; to give the reins over to your hands.

He will writhe at your feet in grieved pleasure. Often literally cry. And you will be like “What? It’s just mommy. 💁‍♀️”

Ideas

Milking

Sluts, particularly boysluts, need to masturbate a lot. Ask him, he’ll tell you.

Then ask more. He’ll tell you more.

He is exceedingly talented at masturbating—the whole of this should be appropriated as “milking” (if you want a happy boyslut plaything). The greatest gift a man can receive is a woman who is genuinely interested in his masturbation. Because he’s going to do it anyway. It is as assured as taxes in life.

If you are interested in his masturbation, have confidence about that—he wants you to be curious. He wants to cave and answer every question you have. He wants to be embarrassed—and not be judged. This is what heals the boyslut’s soul. Maybe you find that interesting, as he strokes.

Prompts

Here are some questions you can ask day to day. He will be thrilled you are taking an interest in his “milking”:

• Did you cum today?
• What did you milk to?
• Do you own any toys? How does this one feel? How about that one?
• Where did you cum? (This will make him very bashful, you might find it cute… “umm… a tee shirt…”)
• Was there a lot? What was the consistency?

You may note that much of this is to do with the actual semen produced by masturbating. That is for good reason: the more you normalize that—the “heaviest” part of it (the “grossest”)—the more the rest of it will feel very relaxed and peaceful, to him.

All boys have cum fetishes, I think. Even if you don’t, you might find it cute to get him to confess to the details of his. Think literally… I truly can’t stress just how “dumb” boysluts’ arousal is. They will masturbate to your spit. I’ve done it, dozens of times. Maybe more. I truly am a dumb slut.

More ideas:

Push him; test his boundaries. Make him be honest. If he says he’s shy, make him massage his testicles for you. If he says he’s anxious, ask him to show you his cock. If he’s down on himself, tell him he’s wrong, because you like to watch him masturbate and he’s at least got that going for him. Watch him laugh, then tease him about how you both know you’re right. He will be intensely relieved at having been “challenged”—and then want to masturbate (probably).

Make him nut on your pictures.

This is kind of funny. This is a practice I have found intensely pleasing in my dynamics: I always cum on my mommy’s pics. Literally. On an iPad. Yes it’s silly—that’s half the fun.

You can play with this. Tease him in what you make him milk on. See just how sfw you can get it. Make him jerk off to you sticking out your tongue. Give him tasks: make him say “mommy” as he cums. It’s super fun.

Alternatively, you can make him super embarrassed by getting him to milk on porn he’d watch alone but would ordinarily find too wild to talk about with you. For example, maybe he secretly watches femboys. Make him milk on that. He will be so scared… good thing he has such a comforting mommy.

IRL

The best thing you can do for your boyslut irl is to never “put out.”

Allow me to elaborate.

This whole notion of “putting out” affirms the very worst of the boyslut’s fears: that his sexuality is harmful, unwelcome, and he damages others by being who he is. It frames your consent to him as a gesture of good will, like a favor, rather than what it is when it is truly nourishing: you affirming yourself, about him.

Never do him favors. Ever.

That is: never compromise for his sake. He cannot bear the thought of it. He loves you—the last thing on earth he wants is to have [what he perceives to be] his badness come at your expense. He would rather be “put down” (broken up with) than compromise you.

So what do you do?

Milk, milk, milk.

If you aren’t feeling sexual, for whatever reason, and you can tell he is, literally all you need to do to free his soul is give him active permission to relieve himself. He’s going to do it anyway—the difference is you getting out ahead of it, making something that would’ve been secret and shameful overt and normalized.

Do not apologize to your slut—you have done nothing wrong. He knows this, in his heart of hearts. If he ever acts like you owe him sexuality, truly do dump him, because that’s a trainwreck waiting to happen.

But otherwise, just get out ahead of the shame.

“I’m not in a headspace to play.”

Something along those lines. Just something honest, about how you actually feel. Never forget—you never owe him an explanation or justification. Your reasons are always your own to explain or withhold.

Now, the thing that takes this from neutral to slut-affirming is following that rejection with, “do you need to milk, though?”

Make him acknowledge his needs, to you.

He might be embarrassed. Good—that means this actually has traction in his mental life.

It’s hard to phrase this in your voice, bc in every situation it’ll be different, but, in a nutshell, what you’re trying to communicate is:

“I understand and approve of the fact that you need to cum, though I am personally not in the mood to meet that need right now. I acknowledge the presence of your need, and grant you permission to meet it on your own. We can resume talking when you’re done and your head is clear.”

Believe it or not, this already has all of the approval a slut needs to flourish.

What it comes down to is you communicating your own security: “I ‘see’ you; that you are a person with sexual needs; you do not need to hide that fact from me for me to associate with you. Me meeting or not meeting those needs right now says nothing about your worth as a person. Go attend to them—I will be here when you are done—worthwhile person.”

This grants him dignity in the most vulnerable parts of his soul.

As far as a boyslut is concerned, he is “winning” in life, masturbating into the sink with his mommy’s approval to do so.

It truly means that much to him.

But he is also that easy to keep happy—just acknowledge that he is who he is, sexuality and all, all the while never ceasing to assert the primacy of your own interests and needs in your own life (in this case: needing to not be sexual at that moment).

This is like walking on water, to him: that two people can assert their self-interest and needs without that being a zero-sum game; without one of them compromising.

He will see you as a kind of benevolent miracle-worker, granting him dignity while he works his cock like a horny animal.

And truthfully, it is loving, and sweet… he will actually admire and respect you even more.

It’s all about not judging one another for the particularities of each’s personhood. Some people like spicy food, others don’t; some people aren’t horny [that moment], others are.

The fact that there are differences doesn’t mean we can’t all be around the table together, enjoying “the meal”, life. That’s why hot sauce was invented—so it can go on his plate and not yours.

Both your meals meet your individual needs, while you share the important stuff: a sense of belonging and kinship.

You are giving him active permission to use hot sauce, basically.

🌶️

This can be played with, erotically. A lot. And it’s super hot.

Ideas:

(Supposing you are actually in the mood…)

• pretend you’re not. Lie there next to him like you are completely indifferent, while simultaneously acknowledging that he is fiendishly pumping a sex toy with his cock. Make him eroticize the absence of judgement itself—his sexuality is harmless, if not a bit pathetic. Endearingly so.

(Note: personally I don't like the “you’re so desperate for me” stuff. No—really it’s that I’m desperate to be acknowledged as sexual, and you happen to be the subject of my sexual desires. I get off on you getting off to my pleasure, which I have because of you… I don’t get off to you “feeding” on being really really desired. There’s a fundamental difference there. The former is extremely hot, the latter makes me feel extremely unsafe—to the point I can’t go through with any of it. Being desperate for your validation is different than being desperate for you—the latter is only valuable to someone who is not already secure in themselves. If you already love yourself, being loved by others isn’t the point of why you do anything.)

• you can literally give him sexual therapy by welcoming him to masturbate to you while you get dressed, shower, read a book… anything. The novelty of your security in yourself; having his sexuality—which he regards as most shameful about himself—consensually welcomed into that picture, even just on the sidelines… he will cum to your consent itself. I have. It’s great.

In closing

Think of a slut’s sexuality as being like a houseplant. It needs to be “watered” with active acknowledgement or the rest of the slut will wilt—a slut left to “fall into” himself will become insecure, mopey and self-involved. Unlovable, basically.

Alternatively, a properly “watered” slut will bloom into giving, spirited confidence. He may even successfully “dominate” you, if that’s what you ask of him. “Daddies” can be grown, just like “mommies.”

But, unless “watered”, that confidence will be an act, because it will be “colored” by the default badness I mentioned earlier—self-loathing, resentment, etc.

This is a slut’s pathology. But it is also what makes their love so powerful when calibrated properly, and exciting to receive, when a slut is free to love with all their heart.

Remember: he needs your self-interest to come first—the fact that it includes him in any way is what fuels him.

This is not to say it is your responsibility to care for your slut; you owe him nothing. You can get houseplants just to let them die. It’s your prerogative. This is an amoral universe. 🤷‍♂️

But alternatively, he can just leave… or, if you have the heart, you can dump him.

Consider it practice in the self-assertion that will nourish your next sub. And don’t forget that even getting broken up with can be a form of gain for him, ultimately. It teaches him a valuable lesson. He just might not know it yet: by doing what is best for you, you do what is best for him, too.

That said, if you like your houseplant, and you wish to benefit from the living-ness of it, know that said houseplant cannot keep itself alive. Only if it is part of an ecosystem where its needs are met in one way or another can it flourish, and its leaves give shade to… an ant, or something. You get the idea.

And I stress: this is stupid-easy to do… provided that base of your self-love is there.

“Yes, you are a dumb pathetic cock slut, aren’t you?”

…

“I knoww… it’s OK.”

“Good boy, get it all out.”

…

“Ok, go make mommy dinner.”

“Why?”

It’s got nothing to do with what you say and everything to do with why you say it: because you are acting in self-interest. Which includes him.

In this way, your sub can be kept happy, healthy and capable of serving; he will be fiercely loyal—because you don’t judge him for what he judges about himself (in this case, blowing his load in the sink).

Because you don’t judge him, he is able to not judge himself; because he isn’t judging himself, he is able to meet his domme’s needs without asking anything in return. Which makes you free to bestow whatever you want on him. Your whole ass, smothering his face, for example.

It all comes down to simple acknowledgment of sex as one of his needs.

How that need happens to be met isn’t even relevant. He will hump your hand like 👌… with pride… provided him doing so is somehow aligned with your self-interest.

He will consider it an honor to milk himself into the sink, as long as he is caring for himself that way with your blessing.

What he needs is his well-being, including his libido, to be defined by your care.

“Do a good job caring for my boy.”

🫡

And the entirety of his libido is resolved.

Yes, we sluts are that simple. We cannot help it. Ask us, you’ll see. All I’m doing here is being honest about my nature: a boyslut.