It’s been a 10 year struggle after I opened up to my wife about my not so fully male self, with me being the one usually giving in on most things. I first opened up to her about just my desire to wear panties, to which she said wasn’t an issue for her as long as mine weren’t cuter than hers and I don’t wear hers. That ended up killing our sex life and even when we had sex I could tell she was just doing it for maintenance. It’s wasn’t intimate anymore.

I stopped wearing and it really didn’t get better and I was very depressed. I started wearing again, for my own happiness, but hid them from her. I still wore them around her but she never saw them. If she ever felt them during sex she would say “remove those” or “get those out of my way”. They were hidden in my closet, kinda ironic, and I always washed them while she was at work. On vacation they were always hidden in my laptop bag. Sometimes I would stop wearing because it was depressing realizing I was hiding it again.

Yesterday I did laundry and have always done well making sure I never dropped any or left a pair in the dryer. This morning she woke up before me and started some other laundry. She found a pair in the washer so she dried them and put them on our dresser. She said that she found a pair of my undies so she dried them and put them on the dresser. This was with my kids sitting in the room next to us so it wasn’t a time to discuss it.

I haven’t worn for the last few days because of the whole keeping it hidden depresses me part. She has to know something has been different since the last few days she’s actually seen me putting on underwear and changing in front of her. If I’m wearing panties I won’t change or get dressed in front of her.

I wish she would say something tonight when we are laying in bed. I know I should but I’ve tried MANY MANY times and just can’t get the words to come out.