Context: I'm MAAB, 16, and live in the Philippines. I've bought a skirt and I haven't really worn it in public ever since I got it (School doesn't count). So I decided to go to the mall. Problem was, my mom needed to go to the mall to do something. Since I was going with her, I folded it up and carried it under my shirt, football style. Once we'd teach the mall, I went to an empty staircase and wore the skirt over my pants. (I'm never going to bareball.)

The entire day was pretty uneventful. Despite living in the only country so Catholic as to not have divorce legal (but separation is a thing), my skirt was never commented upon. I went to the arcade and played what I usually played. Upon entering Shakey's, I was treated as a usual customer. After that I decided that it was time to go home. Since my phone ran out of battery, I decided to go to the help desk, call home so someone could call my mom, go somewhere to remove my skirt discreetly and go back to the help desk to meet my mom. Lo and behold, she was already there.

Shit.

She was too engrossed with meeting up with me to notice my skirt. As we were walking back to the car, my body became an idiot. I kept reflexively tried to cover her view of me with the bag of Shakey's leftovers. Because of how weird I was acting, she took a look at me and saw my skirt.

Here's what my mom said on the way to and in the car. (In her defense, I outright told her I didn't want to explain myself.):

Just don't catch AIDS.

Wow. I didn't know you instantly skip the other stages of HIV. And mom, I don't have a big social circle, and my sexual circle is non-existent.

I don't want people to think you're crazy and lock you up.

That was horribly offensive and really funny at the same time.

You look like a clown

'Scuse me. I'm fabulous.

I'm not giving her enough credit.

I don't care what you are. Just tell me.