Another poster mentioned reviving a memory of having borrowed his sister's underwear and feeling like that was more right than his own, when still a small child.

My first transgender experience was age 4, seeing my sister's underwear come down the laundry chute, and thinking- oh those are better [no Y front]. I took them and made them my own, and life seemed right, until my parents found out and violently let me know it was not ok to dress like a girl.

Years later, I realized that I simply do feel like I am a girl, way more than half the time, and that has profound effects. I gradually took up secret crossdressing as a way to try to feel whole, and only late in life have I finally just accepted that I am at the extreme end of mannish women, but a woman at heart.

I noticed in a you tube by parents whose very young female child kept insisting they were a boy, that the first request of the child once the mom indicated she was going to be supportive, was- "Can I have boys underwear?"

I theorize that underwear has speical imprtance because it is the first item of clothing to be given to you once you are out of diapers, and it will come with an announcement- these are for you bc you are a boy or girl. And if you reach for the 'other' one, you are corrected, so it is the first prison fence, soon to be overlaid by gendered clothes and shoes and hair.

After puberty women's underwear starts to be used as sexual signaling, and is more delicate and ornate, signifying the special status of women [in the eyes of men, at least] . It is an instrument of seduction, and straight men frequently want to try it on- to enter into the magic!

I could go one, but this post is an invitation to share your story- of when underwear was really important in terms of gender signaling for you.