I (30m) have been seeing someone (52m) for the past 11 months. On our 4th month of dating (hanging out every weekend, meeting each other's friends, etc.), I brought up the conversation about becoming exclusive, and it resulted in us deciding to take things one step at a time while having fun.

In that conversation, I made it crystal clear that deleting dating apps was part of the deal of becoming exclusive (is this fair to ask when becoming exclusive?). It's been 11 months now, and while I have been working hard mentally and emotionally on slowing up my pace to match his, I feel like I am reaching a point where I can no longer do that.

Dating apps have been removed from my phone for a couple weeks. He is still on Scruff. This makes me feel like he's trying to find someone out there that's a better fit for him than I am. I hate hate hate to turn his decision about staying on the app about me, but I can't help it to feel that way (I'm treating this insecurity with my therapist).

Some of my effort has been understanding his position and why he wants to take things slowly, which is for valid and strong reasons. One reason being he is a single dad of a 15yo son (that I have not met yet). And I understand that finding a step-dad to his son is something that will take some time.

However, I am emotionally and mentally drowning, so I am thinking of ending things with him. In some time from now, I won't be able to accept the fact he's still on the app, I won't be able to ask him to delete it because then I'd feel like I am dictating what the relationship should be, instead of it all happening organically.

I wish I could talk about it with him, but the whole Scruff thing had gotten us into a couple strong arguments and have led him to avoid this conversation. I'm looking for some guidance, experiences, insights, etc. before I make the decision to end it, for my own mental and emotional stability.

Edit on 2/9: We met 2 days ago and talked more maturely and from a more neutral standpoint. I think we can talk about meeting in the middle for both us, in terms of what we’re looking for. I feel good about the progress.