I downloaded all possible apps. I tried lowering the standards, being so flexible in everything, but i cant find one person who checks half the boxes and actually wants something. It is insane. And most of those who claim they want that are usually very childish, their demands are unreasonable, and their behavior is something to expect from a 20 something guy not a 50 something man. Its like they expect that one day they will find this beautiful young man who will come to them riding a majestic white horse and everything will be ok without any effort from them except for sending nudes that you didnt ask for. So a while ago i decided to agree to a hookup, my first ever, but now i feel empty. That didnt satisfy me. I thought it will make this survivable. It did not. I feel empty as fuck like i always did.

Just to be clear i know people who have been looking for a long time and still get no results, they dont go beyond a single date if they even managed to get one, and i see them slowly complain about it and resort to hookups. I dnt want to be one of those.