I (35) have been with my partner (70) for 5 years. When we first started dating, we had a lot of sex. We now have sex about once a week, which is fine. I know things generally slow down in longer relationships, and I know older men can be less interested in sex than younger men. I know a lot can change between 65 and 70. Lately (like the past year), he hasn’t initiated sex. I only ask about once a week because I can tell when there is a decent chance that he will be interested and isn’t too tired or not interested. I will mention that he generally bottoms as I know that it is generally a lot harder to be in a position where you feel like bottoming and it’s not always the right time.

The issue that I am having right now is that I cannot remember the last time that he asked to have sex. I don’t know if he feels like he doesn’t want to put pressure on me or what, but it has been at least a year. He seems to enjoy having sex when we do, but I am always the one asking to do it. It just makes me feel like I am using him and that he just doesn’t really care about having sex any more, because if he did, he would ask for it. I always check in with him during and after sex, and he really genuinely enjoys it, he just never starts it. I’m getting to the point where I almost don’t even want to ask him anymore because I worry that I am burdening him. I just want to feel like he wants me sexually.

Everything else is great, he truly feels like my partner and I couldn’t imagine spending my life with anyone else. We get along so well and love spending time together. Is there a good way to talk to him about this without hurting his feelings?