it really feels like every aspect of who and what i am is just incredible unattractive and undesirable to guys, cis and trans. i’m expected to be a feminine, smooth twink by default, and i am absolutely none of those things. i’m a big hairy dude, i have a beard, i’m alt, i’m masculine, every single part of me is unwanted. the only people who seem to think i’m desirable are chasers, who just see me as their fetish and absolutely nothing more. and at this point, it feels like i should just give up and settle for that. for being seen and treated like an object. i can’t afford to really have any kind of standards, honestly, it’s felt like that for a while.

it genuinely feels like no one will ever truly find me attractive. with only one exception, every relationship i’ve ever been in has been initiated by me, and the other person just kinda said “yeah sure”. no one’s had a crush on me, no one’s ever asked me out, it feels like my exes only agreed to date me because it was convenient.

the sheer number of times a guy has seemed even mildly interested in me, and then ghosts me the second they see my face is fucking ridiculous, and it makes me feel more and more like shit every single time. i’ve never felt uglier, which is saying something considering that i’ve felt like i’m hideous since i was about five years old.

idk if my rambling is making any sense anymore, i’m physically and emotionally exhausted rn. but i need to get these feelings out somewhere, and most of all, i need some kind of help or advice or support or whatever. do any guys find guys like me attractive without fetishising me? should i just give up? i wish i could just change everything about me. all i’ve ever wanted is to feel wanted and desired, and it seems like i’ll never get to feel that way. i don’t know what i’m supposed to do from here, i’m starting to doubt if there’s anything i can do.