Hi all. Long time reader but first time posting. I thought you might all enjoy hearing about my first time. I’ve changed names and condensed a few things, but this is all true.

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I first met Eliot during my first week of college in 2002. We were introduced by a mutual friend, Marta, who had invited us to join her on a trip off campus to buy textbooks and explore the area surrounding our campus. At the end of the afternoon, I’d been able to hang out with Eliot and Marta each alone for a few minutes, and had definitely tried my best to subtlely flirt with Eliot. He was about 5’9”, Dark skin (half Black and half Pacific Islander), with long, curly black hair, green eyes, an adorable smile, and a slight lisp.

I was definitely shy talking around Eliot. I was VERY shy back then, and I wasn’t out to anyone except for my best friend back home, Calvin, and a handful of online friends. I’d made a resolution to myself to not lie about being gay, but I also wasn’t just going to volunteer the information either. I also had a lot of trust issues at the time, so that was part of it. I was also very self conscious about how I looked. I’m Mexican, 5’11”, with short dark brown hair, medium-dark skin, brown eyes, and a few extra pounds on me. I was never a twink, but I wasn’t hideous either, and I definitely had a fear that I’d never find anyone to date, let alone fall in love with.

Just before we all parted ways for the night, but after Eliot had already left earshot, Marta pulls me aside and tells me that she thinks Eliot really likes me and I should totally hit him up. I started blushing like crazy, which isn’t easy when your skin is as brown as mine is! But besides that, I was surprised to hear Marta say this, as I had not once indicated to her that I was gay, and I also could have sworn I hadn’t been that obvious about my attraction to Eliot. Of course, looking back, it probably was pretty obvious.

I didn’t have a phone at the time, and we all had pretty varied class schedules, so planning time for all of us to hang out was a matter of just running into each other randomly. A couple of months later, I ran into Eliot again while I was on my way to hang out off campus. I’d planned on checking out the record store and bookstore that weren’t too far from campus, and Eliot didn’t have any plans, so he asked if he could join me. I kind of relished the thought of spending time with him alone, so I said sure, and we hung out, getting to know each other. We started hanging out together a lot after that. I learned that he wasn’t out at all, and was especially afraid of being out to his roommate, who he said was quite the macho bro type, and because his family was super religious and he was worried about losing financial support from them if he did come out. I was in a similar position, so it felt like we really connected on this.

We got a few opportunities to hang out in each other’s rooms alone, but nothing really ever came of it at the start. Mostly kissing and under shirt groping, which was usually interrupted by one of our roommates coming back to the room. Then, somewhere around the start of the winter quarter (January or February of 2003), I ran into Eliot as I heading to class one afternoon. He told me that his roommate had gone home to visit his family for the weekend, and asked if I wanted to come over and watch a movie at his place that night. It was a rare opportunity, so how could I say no?

I got to his room probably around 9pm, and he led me in. His room was slightly bigger than mine, so the beds were a little more spread out. There was a large tv in the middle, with a DVD player, and the tv had been swiveled so that it was facing Eliot’s bed. His bed was in the corner, with pillows to one end usually, but he’d moved the pillows against the wall so we’d be comfortable sitting there for a while. We sat down and chatted as the movie played, but eventually we both got quiet. Our hands met in the middle between us, and we held hands for a long while, and it felt wonderful. I still wasn’t comfortable doing that sort of stuff in public, so this felt like it was just for us, our own private moment. After some time, he sort of whispers my name.

“Myles… I know we can’t really go out, but I just wanted to say that I really like the time we do spend together.”

This made me blush a little. “Yeah?”

“And I think I really like you.”

“I really like you, too, Eliot.”

“Would you mind if I kissed you?”

I had never kissed anyone at that point in my life, so this felt like a big step. Of course I said yes. He leaned in close, out lips touching, the air feeling electric. His lips were soft and inviting as he pulled me into him. We made out for who knows how long. It was magical. My first kiss, and I was melting into it.

As we continued to kiss, he let go of my hand and started to explore. First he held my face, twisting it to better meet his own, then moving it lower and lower until he had his hand under my shirt, and started exploring my body. I took this as my que to do the same. Whereas I was wearing a t-shirt and jeans, he had on a tank top and basketball shorts, so I was already getting a good sense of his body. But letting my hand explore, moving all around his chest and abs, I was in ecstasy. At one point, he took his hands away from my body and moved my hand lower and lower until it was over his crotch. I could feel his hard dick through his shorts, and I suddenly really wanted it in my hands.

We parted lips as he helped me undress him. He looked so beautiful, the only light in the room coming from the tv, which neither of us was paying any attention to anymore. He was fully undressed now, and had me lie next to him on the bed. We kissed more as he placed my hands back onto his body, letting me explore his now entirely naked frame. I slowly worked my way down to his dick, which was beautiful and at least 8” and girthy. He had no body hair whatsoever, even around his dick, and that excited me even more. He guided my hand again, this time wrapping it around his rock hard cock. He held my hand, closing around his dick, and helping me to find a rhythm that he liked.

After a short while, he let go of my hand, and brought my face back to his where we continued kissing. After a few more minutes of that, he pulled away.

“Will you suck me?” He asked, tentatively.

I hesitated for a moment. I’d never done any of this before. Sure, I’d seen lots of porn by this point, but I wasn’t sure if I could do this right. Still, I said yes, and slowly maneuvered myself down to his cock. I started by licking around his head, trying to imitate what I’d seen in porn. After some time, I started sucking on the tip, and let him slowly inch his way into my mouth. It was a very new sensation, having someone’s dick inside my mouth. He was already precumming a lot, and it was sweet and salty. After what felt like an eternity, I finally had him all inside my mouth. He started thrusting himself in and out slowly, but began to pick up speed. As he kept hitting the back of my throat, I could feel myself starting to gag, so I put my hand around his dick under my mouth, just like I’d seen in porn, trying to control how much of him was in me.

He began to pick up more and more speed and it was all I could do to take him all in. The whole time, he was moaning like crazy, and I could feel his balls begin to tense up. Finally, he shouted that he was going to cum. I didn’t know what to do, so I just kept at it. Suddenly, I felt him release into my mouth, shooting buckets. I swallowed a little of it, and almost instantly felt like I was going to puke.

As he came down from his release, he handed me his tank top so I could clean up, and asked me if I wanted to stay the night. I was suddenly very freaked out, and made a lame excuse to leave. He kissed me again, and we parted ways that night.

I’m ashamed to admit that I ended up avoiding him for a couple of weeks as I processed what had happened. Not my best moment, in hindsight, but it is what it is.

We continued to “date” (for lack of a better word) until the school year was over, and had a few more trysts before things went south, but I’ll save those stories for another time.

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!