Growing up as an only child, I got into porn and started exploring my body early. By the time I was 23, I’d never been with a man, but I had plenty of experience with household items—cucumbers being my favorite.

One night, after a party with a friend and a hit of MDMA, that warm, electric buzz filled me. I was aching for the real thing. But being DL, I wasn’t about to hit up a bar or random hookup. Alone again, I went to the fridge and found a long, skinny English cucumber, about 14 inches.

I started slow, teasing myself with fingers as I opened up. The cool lube and my touch sent shivers through me. I’d never gone deeper than 5 inches before, but tonight I was in the mood to push my limits. I was already flushed, breathing heavy, and craving more.

Then I remembered the throat spray I had—orange-flavored sick spray that was meant to numb the throat when I was sick. It wasn’t a mild numbing—it was meant to completely numb, and I thought it might help with the discomfort. I sprayed it a few times on my fingers, then inside, feeling that instant, intense coolness. The sensation was strange but exciting, like a signal that I could push myself further.

Back in bed, I got into position—shoulders down, legs up, pushing against the wall, imagining a man pinning me down. Slowly, I eased the cucumber in, inch by inch, deeper than I’d ever dared before. It was blissful. My body stretched, every nerve tingling with that perfect mix of pleasure and pressure.

Then I got bold, pushing faster. I wanted to feel what it’d be like if it was someone else in control. I pushed too hard, too fast—sharp pain made me freeze. My eyes watered, and I cursed myself for being careless. But the thought of someone else not stopping, of being completely at their mercy, made me shiver with desire.

I sprayed more, adjusted myself, and went again. This time, it was easier, smoother. I found a rhythm, thrusting deeper and deeper until I felt something new: an intense, tight sensation as I hit my limit. I let out a sound I’d never made before—a mix of a purr and a muffled cry.

The pressure was overwhelming, and I couldn’t hold back. My body trembled as I started leaking, my soft dick spilling all over my face in the position I was in. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I sobbed, feeling raw and completely vulnerable.

When I finally pulled the cucumber out, I saw streaks of red. My heart raced—part shock, part pride. In that moment, I felt like I’d crossed a threshold, preparing myself for the day it would be real. It was messy, intense, and the most unforgettable solo session I’ve ever had.