A more thorough story of my first time many years ago. Everyone is 18!

We were in high school and in band together, both playing French horn.

He was openly gay, me curiously questioning my sexuality and butterflies every time I looked at him. We were acquaintances but it really friends. I’d catch my self staring at him, wondering what his kiss would taste like and feel like when sitting with my girlfriend.

I added him on Facebook and started an innocent chat. I’m not sure who started the flirting first, but soon our chats were filled with innuendos with neither of us explicitly admitting our sexual desires to the other.

He invited me over after school one day, under a pretense I’ve long forgotten. My hands were shaky as I drove over, knowing I’d give myself to this boy if he’ld let me.

We wound up in his bedroom, quickly laying on the bed chatting about the weather, inching closer to eachother, him finding reasons to touch me and send shivers through me.

Finally he put his hand around my head and kissed me, sending electricity through me. My mouth opened as I melted and tasted his tongue, thinking how much better a kisser he was than any girl.

Our hands started to explore eachother. When we finally came up for air, he looked at me and said what do you want to do?

I meekly answered everything, but I want you to fuck me.

We tore our clothes off. And I stared in awe of he beautiful throbbing cock, putting it in my hand and feeling it’s weight and the heat coming off him.

I kissed my way down his beautiful body, taking him into my mouth. Every moment being permanently engrained in my brain, everything feeling so right.

I remember looking up at his face contorted in pleasure, and remember thinking this is what I’m meant to do. My gf was miles away in my brain, knowing I could never be this turned on with her. Never desire her more than I could desire him.

Finally after choking on his cock he lifted me over and bent me over the bed.

He grabbed a condom and lube and lined up as I turned my head and looked at him. I nodded my head and said fuck me as he pushed into me, taking the virginity I thought I was going to give my gf.

He grabbed my hips and thrust deep, causing me to moan and gasp in pleasure. The pain I thought would come with getting fucked never happened, just pure list and pleasure.

As he thrust and moaned, I stroked myself in pure bliss. I’ll never forget the way he sounded as I gave myself to him for his pleasure.

I came hard first, spurting on his sheets, and he came shortly after. Heavy breathing followed as he pulled out and cleaned up.

Awkward post but clarity and guilt set in on me. We made out some more, but I got dressed and left pretty soon after, trying to process the fireworks going on inside me, and the confusion as well.

We’ve chatted on and off since then, but never hooked up again sadly. I still fantasize about giving myself to him, in every way possible.

Sadly, I wish I could say this is the moment I knew as accepted I was gay, came out, and started to date him. It’s one of my biggest regrets. But to this day when I’m in bed with my wife, I think of his hands grabbing my hips and feeling the first cock to enter me and it makes me cum so hard.

There were many more guys since him that I’ve given myself to, and 16 years later I’m just coming to terms that I’m gay and working on coming out of the closet. I’m due to go back alone to my hometown in a few weeks to visit my folks. Should I reach out to him and see if there could still be a spark?

Brendan, if you see this, message me.