With time, I find that my sexual needs / fantasies / appetites are constantly changing. I can’t be defined as just top or bottom because I’ve come to conclude that as a gay man, I would rather experience EVERYTHING that’s on the menu.

As my past stories show, I am all over the place. I can be a dom top, sub bottom, vers… I can’t be put in a “box”. Currently I am not really seeing “Andy” but I’ll text him about my escapades here and there.

I haven’t seen “John” in a while either… but he is still my unicorn that I still fantasize about constantly. I will literally wake up in the middle of the night about to cum. It’s one of my biggest disappointments in life that I didn’t have a one on one session with “John” to fully explore gay sex with him. I guess that’s what I get for lusting after such a hot jock that gets pussy easily, I should just be grateful I had the privilege of sucking his cock and eating his ass.

I would literally do anything he asks of me… even if it’s just being an on demand cock sucker when he needs to bust a load.

This unfulfilled lust for “John” is basically the foundation for my addiction with servicing straight men. I can’t have him, so I find it elsewhere.For the past few months I have been cruising Grindr for bi/straight men. I just can’t stop.

I’m loving feeling inferior and submissive towards alpha men. Having a very defined dynamic that is a kind of role-play where we both know our roles gets me so hard.Most of the time it’s a guy with a blank profile, sometimes his description says “curious” or “bi”, or they are in the “discrete” tribe. After the standard platitudes, when I get the feeling that this guy is game to play, I bring up being a sub bottom whore that loves to service straight men.Guys are either 100% into this narrative or they block me, as they should.

Most of the time it is just ongoing chat and pics for a few weeks and then it fizzles out. I have a decently sized library of pics of me that I love to trade, I love being an exhibitionist, and getting pics from these guys is like a game. I have had a few even sending me pics/videos of them fucking their wives/girlfriends and I find that so hot. They also love being told that they are an alpha to my beta, and tell them that I am a sub fag that is below them.

(*I only recently got turned on my the F-word. I’ve read up about it and I guess that I am reclaiming it? Who knows, but it gets be fucking hard and these men love calling me a faggot.)

I also love calling them daddy - it seems to drive them wild even if we are around the same age.Now trying to get these men to meet up is a whole other story. They are by definition flakey, and most of them are going around behind someones back.

I absolutely do not care if they are attached or married, that is not my problem, some people would point to an ethical conundrum but that’s on them, not me. I just want us all to get off.The most common hook up scenario is a weekday blow and go. I come in, suck them off, swallow and leave.

I always ask beforehand how they want to proceed to make sure there are no surprises and to make sure their fantasy is fulfilled. Do they kiss? Do we talk? Do I just walk in, get on my knees and leave? Do I get naked, and am I allowed to touch myself? Do I wear a jockstrap or briefs? I let them decide to make them feel more in control of the situation, which can be touchy with the less experienced guys.

My favourite “blow and go” scenario go like this:

- I show up to a clean, tidy place (men have a tendency to live in the most disgusting places hahaha) or have them meet me at mine.

- The man looks better than his photos (It is generally the case - straight/bi men are awful at selecting pics they share!)

- Their cock is already getting hard and I can see their bulge, lock eyes with them, have a deep kiss and get on my knees.

- They pull out their cock and I enjoy making a show of exploring it, make my tongue go around the tip and then take in as much of their cock as possible.

- I look up in their eyes and pull their cock out while applying pressure on the urethra with my tongue. This gets them going.

- Have them go on a couch, pull down their pants and take their shirt off so I can see their manly pecs.

- I strip down to a jockstrap to give them a good view of my ass while I blow them, but I usually do not pull out my cock unless they tell me to.

- I then go to town on their balls (I prefer shaved balls to hairy

- I am not afraid to tell them to do so before meeting) while grabbing their pecs and pinching their nipples if they are hard.

- Then I go back on their cock, and let them take control, pumping in and out of my mouth, making me gag as they please. Often they will lean forward and grab my ass, I love that.

- I ask where they want to cum, I love to swallow but I want them to chose.-

If it’s a “straight” man I’ll just leave immediately, otherwise I’ll ask if I am allowed to finish myself off. I love using another man’s cum to jerk off.

I just can’t help it.

I’ve been chatting with a guy non stop for over a week, he’s around my age but loves to be called Daddy. He works in construction, has a wife and a kid but loves a submissive cock fag. We haven’t been able to meet up yet but he’s sent me pictures of him pounding his wife after having a raging hard on all day talking to me, and we video chatted a couple times as he jerked off in a public bathroom.

Here’s hoping he can be my next good story…