Nolan and Hugh

By Harlan Paramore

Chapter 1

It was a beautiful day, and the forecast promised an equally beautiful weekend. I parked my car and pitched my tent near the trees, where I knew I’d have some shade from the hot sun. I unfolded my new overstuffed reclining lawn chair and sat back with a wine cooler to watch the rest of the bears arrive.

It was the first day of the local bear community’s campout, and also the first day of camping this year for most of us. The air was full of excitement. I waved at each vehicle that passed by, regardless of whether I could tell who was in it. If they weren’t friends, they were at least friendly, and by Sunday when we all packed up some of them would surely be new friends.

Steven and his boyfriend Owen walked up, holding their beers. I’d seen them setting up their tent a few spots down. They were beaming with excitement; I knew they were both avid campers and had a lot of friends here. They waved.

“Hey boys!” I called out, raising my bottle in salutations. “Good to see you!”

“Good to see you, Hugh! Nah, don’t get up.” Steven bent down and gave me a warm hug, and Owen followed suit. Owen was a nice young man, a little awkward but well-meaning and kind.

“This is quite the campground, huh?” Steven said, looking around us.

“It’s pretty nice. Much better than last year’s field of cow patties.”

“Still private though, right? We have the place all to ourselves?” I could see Owen grinning. I knew exactly what he was wondering. I stroked my gray beard and gave him a wink.

“It’s private, it’s run by a very gay-friendly, kink-positive couple. We have the entire place, and yes Owen, it’s clothing optional.”

Owen gave a silly cheer, set down his beer, and stripped off his shirt and shorts in seconds. He raised his arms to the air and giggled. The sun shone down on his bare skin, which judging by its ghostly shade had not seen the sun in many months. His happiness was infectious; I found myself laughing along. To be fair, I was admiring the view too. He was a very attractive young cub, in fairly good shape with a chest full of thick hair. I tried not to stare at his equipment either, but it was hard not to notice that he was well-endowed with a thick uncut penis. I’d seen it before, of course. He’d refused to wear clothing all weekend at last year’s campout. I was a little envious of his free spirit; I hadn’t had the guts to run around naked like that since… well, since I was his age, and a hippy.

Steven gave a chuckle and shook his head. “You need some sunscreen if you’re going to be running around like that. Remember last year? You went from albino to lobster in one afternoon.”

“Aw, alright. I’ll go get the spray.”

The two of them headed off, and I waved after them.

“Dessert tonight at my site!” I called out as they left. “I’ve got tiramisu and we need to eat it up while it’s cold!”

Owen got wide-eyed at that; I knew he would. Kid had a sweet tooth. He’d need to watch that if he didn’t want to go from cub to chub in a few short years. I looked down at my own belly and reminded myself not to judge.

Other bears walked by, stopping to chat. Some I hadn’t seen since last year’s campout, some I’d spent time with just a couple of weeks ago at dim sum. It was so nice to see so many smiles. I got to introduce myself to some new faces, too.

And then I saw the Volkswagen Beetle drive up. It was one of the modern ones, about ten years old or so. I was pretty sure I didn’t know anyone who drove one, but I waved anyway. I watched with interest as the car pulled up into the site next to mine. I could see the car was packed full of gear, but it looked like the driver was alone.

The door opened and he stepped out. He certainly raised my eyebrows; he looked about as out of place at a bear campout as you can get. He had to be in his early twenties, slim, and clean-shaven. I reminded myself that our bear group didn’t discriminate; non-bear chasers were as welcome as anyone else. I thought about Cliff’s partner Joshua, a smooth-chested Phillpino guy, who was a total sweetheart who basically walked among the bears with hearts for eyes. This young gentleman certainly belonged here. I waved again and smiled; he waved back and smiled nervously.

He started unloading his car, which seemed to be full of far more gear than any one person would need. He laid it out carefully on his picnic table, muttering to himself.

My suspicion that he wasn’t much of a camper was confirmed when I watched him try to set up his tent; he looked like such a fish out of water that I took pity on him and heaved my fat ass out of my chair to give him a hand.

“Hey there,” I said, trying to sound as friendly as I could. I didn’t want to be condescending, but the poor guy obviously needed help. “Want a hand?”

He turned to look up at me and a sweet smile spread across his face. Oh boy, I thought to myself. Those big pale green eyes are going to melt a few guys here. If they weren’t fans of twinks before they might be soon.

“Oh, I could really use help!” He said. “I’ve never done this before.”

“I’ll be happy to. My name’s Hugh.” I put out my hand, unsure if he would accept a hug from a strange older bear.

“I’m Nolan.” He had a good handshake; it showed a little deference and uncertainty but an underlying confidence. I’d been in business many years; you could tell a lot by a man’s handshake.

I crouched down to straighten out his tent, which he’d got as far as unfolding but not erecting.

“Never set up a tent before, huh?”

“Never even camped before.”

“Oh, wow! Well, you picked a good group of guys to learn with.”

“Oh, I hope so. I… I don’t know anyone here.”

I stared at him in surprise.

“You- you just showed up? You don’t know anyone? And you’ve never camped?”

His eyes watered up a bit, and I realized I sounded judgemental.

“I… I registered, I’ve paid my club dues and everything…”

“You are a very brave young man,” I said, trying to reassure him. “Honestly, you are. Good for you! That must have been a difficult step to come all the way out here without knowing anyone.”

He smiled. My compliment had landed well and prevented a meltdown. Phew.

“Well. You picked a good spot for your tent, it’s fairly flat and smooth here. Next step is to assemble the poles and put them in.”

He pulled out the collapsible poles and looked at them in confusion.

“These? These are poles?”

I tried not to laugh- poor kid was really out of his element. I showed him how they snap together. He helped me thread the poles through the loops, and the tent started to take shape. We drove in the spikes together and the tent stood upright, taut and strong.

His expression fell into one of concern.

“The roof… it’s just mesh? What if it rains?”

Again I stifled a laugh. I found the fly and we stretched it over the tent together. Now he was smiling.

“You bought a pretty big tent, for just yourself?”

“Oh, it’s not mine. I borrowed it.”

“Ah, gotcha. Well, you’ve got the luxury of space. Where’s your air mattress?”

He looked around, confused. I realized he probably wasn’t even sure what it looked like. I had to hunt through all of the stuff; his friend must have just lent him their entire set of gear without going through to find what was really necessary.

Before long we had him set up with his bed and even a little folding nightstand. It was a pretty posh setup for one little guy.

“Thank you so much!” he beamed. “I would never have been able to figure all this out. Can I give you a hug?”

“Sure. I’ll never turn down a hug.”

He threw his arms around me and squeezed me tight. I have to admit, it was kind of interesting hugging him; he practically disappeared in my arms. He was smaller in every respect, from height to width to age, and that contrast was… well, it was something. I wasn’t sure what to call it. But it felt… nice.

“Okay, kiddo.” I immediately winced at having called him that. I reminded myself that he was an adult, not my grand-nephew. “Uh… have you ever cooked with a propane stove before?” I held up the little camp stove with its green propane bottle.

He grimaced and shook his head.

“Uh… okay. Tell you what. We’re neighbors, and you need a bit of a hand. I always end up cooking for a small army anyways; if you contribute a bit of your food, you’re welcome to eat with me. Unless you end up elsewhere for dinner- just consider it an open invitation.”

“Oh, thank you so much! I don’t know how to repay you!”

“I do. You can do dishes.” I gave him a wink.

“Oh! Of course. Thank you. Yes, I will. I packed food, but I don’t really know if I packed the right kind of things.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you’re sorted. You took a big gamble coming out, I want to make sure it pays off for you.”

It was at that moment that Owen ran past, waving and blowing kisses at us, his junk flopping around in the breeze. I saw Nolan’s jaw drop.

“It’s… uh, clothing optional here,” I explained.

“Oh!” He turned a little red. I chuckled; he was sort of an innocent young man. He probably wouldn’t be after this weekend.

“Never been to a nudist event before?”

“No. But… I don’t mind.”

“Really? How old are you, anyways?”

“I… well, I just turned nineteen.”

Now my jaw dropped.

“You… wow. Christ. I’m old enough to be your grandfather.”

He opened his mouth, then slowly closed it. I realized he’d been about to ask how old I was and caught himself.

“Sixty-two,” I explained.

“Oh. Uh… I don’t… mind.”

I wasn’t entirely sure what he meant by that, but before I could ask he opened up one of his coolers and pulled out a bottle.

“Would you like a wine cooler?”

I was expecting a beer and was about to turn him down, but then I saw he was holding up a bottle of my favorite brand.

“I- oh! Yeah. Sure, I’d love one. You have good taste.”

He smiled at the compliment, and we clinked bottles and took a good sip.

“Now that we’ve got you settled in, why don’t we have ourselves a little tour? I can introduce you to all the bears.”

His face lit up. “Yes please! I’m not really great at introducing myself.”

So we walked around the campground, which gave me an opportunity to say hello to all my friends while introducing Nolan to everyone. What Nolan lacked in experience and confidence he made up for with youthful exuberance; he got a lot of attention. Part of it was the novelty, I was sure: a twink among bears, looking a bit like fresh meat tossed in a school of vegetarian sharks. A lot of bears aren’t really interested in twinks, but his energy and enthusiasm still drew a lot of attention and smiles. I don’t think he was really aware of it, either. He just kept smiling and being friendly as though he weren’t even aware that he stood out like a sore thumb. And he was in heaven; he was clearly attracted to the bears.

I saw Richard and Jacob’s RV from a few sites away. It was huge and obvious, plenty big enough for a family of eight but just for the two of them.

“Hey hey! Hi Hugh, how’ve you been?” Richard set down his red solo cup and gave me a big warm bear hug.

“Hey Richard! I’ve been doing great, enjoying my retirement. You?”

“Working like a dog. Set up to retire in a few more years, then you and I can hit Palm Springs. What do you think?”

I laughed. I got a big hug from Jacob too. The two of them were very quintessential bears, from their flannel shirts and baseball caps to their all-over fur and bear claw tattoos.

“This is Nolan. He’s new to the club, I’m just taking him around to meet everyone.”

Nolan looked like a hungry man eyeing up a giant chocolate cake, and it took me a moment to realize that it was Jacob’s open shirt, thick pelt, and round gut. I thought I might have to grab the guy and give him a shake, but then that friendly smile returned and he stuck out his hand. Richard gave a little chuckle, and Jacob sized him up with a grin. I don’t think he was used to being ogled like that by a smooth young man like Nolan.

“Your RV is enormous,” he said, wide eyed.

“We actually just finished renovating it. Sometimes we have company but we recently decided we don’t need to sleep eight. Want to have a look inside?”

“Really? Sure!”

Richard and I watched the two of them disappear into the RV. Nolan looked like he was going to stain his shorts just standing next to Jacob.

In a conspiratorial hushed voice, Richard turned to me and said, “He’s… uh, not your usual type, eh?”

I blinked, confused.

“Who, Nolan? Oh, I-”

“I mean, I’m not judging you. Like… congratulations old man. You obviously still got it!”

I think I was flushing like Nolan at that moment.

“Richard, no. He’s just- I met him this afternoon. He set up in the site next to me and had never camped before, so I helped him set up. He didn’t know anyone here so I’m…” I trailed off, seeing Richard’s dubious look.

“Okay, well… if you don’t have anything going on with that kid, you certainly could. He’s looking at you like a puppy dog.”

“I thought he was looking at Jacob that way.”

“Sure, he was. If the kid’s a bear-chaser I”m sure he’ll have wide eyes and a dropped jaw all weekend. But the way he followed you up to our site… well, you know kids that age. They crush fast and hard.”

“He’s not a kid,” I mumbled. I wasn’t sure why I felt so defensive about it. “He’s an adult. You know how it is at that age- you might not know what being an adult is really about yet, but you’re thrown in the deep end to sink or swim. I’d say if the guy had the balls to come out here not even knowing anyone or how to put up a tent, he’s… he’s…”

“He’s fine for you to get naked with?”

Now I was flushing with a mix of embarrassment and defensive anger, but I quickly stifled it. I didn’t have anything to apologize for; I had no designs on the young man. As Richard pointed out, he wasn’t really my type. Not that I even had a type; I hadn’t really dated much for years now. If I were being honest with myself, I hadn't even taken anyone to bed either. It wasn’t that I had lost my libido; even at sixty-two I was still amazed that I had to keep it in check by jerking off at least three times a week. Maybe I wasn’t really over my last relationship. Maybe I lacked confidence. Who knows?

I came out of my reverie as Nolan and Jacob exited the RV. Nolan had the excited face of a little kid.

“Pretty cool, huh?” Richard asked, smiling proudly.

“It’s amazing! Hugh, they’ve got a karaoke machine in there!”

I chuckled. “Yeah, I’ve seen it.”

“Do you do karaoke?”

“Only if you get me drunk enough,” I quipped.

“Okay! I brought plenty of wine coolers.”

I nearly choked on thin air at that comment. Nolan just gave me a sly look, and suddenly I understood what Richard was saying even though I wanted to deny it. I saw Richard give me a glance.

“We’ll see,” was all I could think to say.

We continued making our rounds and saying hi to everyone, and by the time we got back to our sites it was close to time to make dinner. I was sort of hoping that Nolan might find somebody else interesting to hang out with, but he seemed glued to my side. I was very touched by the attention, but I didn’t want to lead him on. Thankfully, Steven and Owen joined us at my site as I started to set up the camp stoves and chop up vegetables.

Nolan looked like he was going to blush again, because Owen was still enjoying himself running around nude. They introduced themselves, and Nolan had to consciously keep his eyes away from Owen’s crotch to look him in the eye as he shook his hand. Thankfully, Owen was pretty awkward himself, so he was oblivious.

“So… you just… walk around like that? Aren’t you worried about things like… I dunno, bugs? Thorns?”

Owen shrugged. “Yeah. I could get that anywhere I’ve got bare flesh. Don’t you run around shirtless?”

Nolan looked lost in thought for a moment.

“Well… not usually.”

“Oh? You should! Feeling the sun on your bare skin is great.”

Nolan paused thoughtfully and then peeled off his shirt.

Now I was the one trying not to stare. I never thought of twinks as my type before, but Nolan was truly beautiful in a classical sense. If Michaelangelo had ever carved a twink from marble, he would have carved Nolan. His body wasn’t flat and featureless; he had a little bit of muscle that gave it some graceful curves. Not a lot, just a bit of chest definition and some shape to his arms. He had cute nipples, too. No bigger than dimes, but a little meaty, like they’d be fun to play with. As he turned to throw his shirt towards his tent I also saw a little bit of abdominal definition. Most of the men I’d dated had several inches of fat hiding those muscles, but something about Nolan had my mouth watering a bit, I’ll admit.

He had something else in common with marble, though. He was bright, blinding white. I nearly broke into paternal mode when Steven beat me to it, moving quickly towards Steven while pulling out his sunscreen spray.

Now I’ll have to admit it, despite my misgivings about getting attached to anybody at that point in my life, and the considerable age gap between us… watching Steven spray him down and rub the sunscreen onto his back, I felt surprisingly jealous. I tried to keep my attention focused on making dinner while Nolan paraded around the place showing off his lithe torso. I looked down at my own protruding belly and the gray chest hair peeking over my shirt and wondered what exactly he could see in me.

Dinner was great, but everyone especially appreciated the homemade tiramisu. Nolan had never had it before and was particularly blown away. Watching a little rivulet of cream run down his chin was a little distracting. I tried to encourage everyone to take seconds, even thirds, because I knew it wouldn’t last the night. We even roped in a few passers-by to eat some too. As it was, I ended up having more than I should have, and felt a little guilty. But the four of us went for a walk to try and encourage some digestion.

The sun was starting to get low on the horizon, and some of the bears had started a fire going in the communal fire pit. A small crowd had started to gather, and I was relieved to see Nolan mingling and starting to develop connections. His bare chest certainly helped. A lot of the bears were only interested in fellow bears, but there were a few who loved a chaser. And nobody could deny that he was just aesthetically beautiful, even if he didn’t get your groin stirring. He was just pleasant to look at, and his youthful and exuberant charm was magnetic.

Nolan chatted up a few guys and made his way back around to me with a curious look on his face.

“What’s down there?” he asked, pointing to a path that led away from the common fire pit area. I watched as Steven and Owen went off down the path together, hand in hand, smiling.

“Oh. I suspect that’s the play area.”

“Play area?”

“Yeah… oh boy.” I realized that Nolan’s innocence was about to take another hit. “Look… it’s not just a clothing-optional campground. The rules state you can have fun anywhere you want, but there’s also a designated area with… equipment.”

He looked really lost.

“Okay, look. I’d be happy to take you down there to have a peek. But I’m not interested in doing anything down there, it’s not my style.” I didn’t want to be too much of a prude, though, since that wasn’t honest either.. “I mean… sometimes I’ll sit and watch. But I’m not going down there to-”

He just looked completely lost. So I sighed and ushered him down the path.

Down the hill, there was a small clearing in the middle of the trees. The campground owners had hung a huge army tarp above for shade and shelter, and underneath it were various pieces of… furniture. The campground apparently catered mostly to straight BDSM and swingers groups, but the bears were making good use of the setup too.

I turned to explain more to Nolan, but he was standing there stunned, jaw dropped, eyes wide. I couldn’t blame him; it was quite a sight. There were at least a dozen men there. I could see Ben laid out on a little padded platform with his ankles in stirrups, getting pounded hard by Steven while Owen and a couple of others waited their turn. Ben was notorious at parties like this: a hefty ginger bear who was an insatiable bottom. Another couple was making use of a sling. There was a cute otter splayed out on a St. Andrew’s Cross, having his chest whipped with reeds by one bear while getting his dick sucked by another. I wasn’t really all that into kink; I’d dabbled a little and didn’t mind indulging some past partners, but I didn’t seek it out. I’d done a few group scenes, too, but not a lot. I’d been honest with Nolan; I did like to watch this kind of thing, and sometimes I’d even sit and jerk off on the sidelines, but I had no interest in joining. I wasn’t entirely sure if Nolan himself wanted to join in or not; he still had that shocked look on his face. I wondered how the poor guy could be so sheltered.

I sighed and put a hand on his upper back, giving it a gentle rub.

“If you’d like, you can stay here. I know these guys, they’ll play nice with you. Just be clear about what you want and don’t want.” I made a step to go back up the path, but in an instant Nolan was back beside me, keeping pace.

“It’s been… it’s been a lot, today,” he explained shyly. “I’ve met so many new people and seen… so many new things. I don’t think I’m quite ready for that tonight.”

I chuckled. “That’s fine. There will be plenty of great guys at the fire to hang out with too. And I’m sure the play area will get use, too.”

At the fire, some guys had brought out bags of marshmallows and were passing them around, but Nolan and I both turned them down, still too full and overloaded with sugar. Nolan continued to mingle, which felt good. I’d been worried he’d be glued to my side all night. I did feel that strange twinge of jealousy again, but reminded myself that I was more than three times his age. Besides, I had plenty of friends to catch up with. The smell of that fire was so satisfying, too. It’s strange how a fire can feel so nostalgic but also ground you in the moment at the same time.

Finally I felt the tiredness of a long day setting into my bones. I glanced at my watch and saw it was past eleven already. I bid goodnight to the friends I was sitting with and headed back for my site, pulling my travel flashlight out as I went.

I heard footsteps coming up behind me hurriedly, and smiled. I knew who it was before I even saw him.

“Hey, Hugh,” came that young voice. “Heading back to camp?”

“Yeah, I’m tired. I’m going to turn in.”

“Oh. I think I might too, I’m exhausted.”

“What, you? At your age I’d expect you’d be up until four in the morning.”

“I’m used to getting up early. And today has been… a lot.”

“I suppose it has.”

“I’m honestly kind of an introvert anyways. Parties like that kind of wear me out.”

“In that case, you should definitely save some energy for tomorrow night’s dance party.”

He looked at me, confused.

“Dance party? How?”

“There’s a van coming tomorrow full of equipment. Generators and… DJ stuff, I guess. One of the members is a DJ who does all the bear events. He plays good music.”

“Oh, wow. That sounds like fun.”

It wasn’t high on my list. I’d become a bit of a curmudgeon, I supposed. The loud noise and drunken rowdiness wasn’t my style. But I didn’t want to rain on Nolan’s enthusiasm.

We arrived at my site, and turned to face each other. I can’t say why it was suddenly so awkward; for a moment we just sort of stared at each other. I could see him smiling in the dim light, and a sort of hopeful puppy-dog look in his eyes. Suddenly I realized just what he was hopeful for, and my heart started pounding nervously. I needed to get out of that moment, fast.

“So… well, goodnight,” I said.

“You’re going to go to bed?”

“Uh… yeah. You?”

“Yeah.”

“Well. Okay.”

Another pause.

“Well, have a good night,” I said, trying to wrap it up.

“You too,” he said, and spread his arms. I had a moment of confusion at the gesture, then smiled and put my arms around him.

I didn’t want that hug to feel good. I didn’t want to admit how nice his bare back felt against my hands. I didn’t want to enjoy the smell of his aftershave or imagine how nice it would be to follow this hug with a kiss. But it was heavenly regardless of what I wanted. He felt so nice in my arms, and I felt very content to have his arms wrapped around me. He was holding me tight but not too tight, just warm and soothing and comfortable. He was a little shorter than me, so his face ended up buried in my neck. His hair was soft against my chin.

I broke off the hug before it became too difficult to re-establish distance, before it escalated somewhere I didn’t want to go. He smiled up at me and I smiled back, and I realized that the electricity of a potential kiss was hanging in the air between our lips. I gave him a friendly pat on the back and took a step back, feeling like an ass as I did it.

“Goodnight,” I said, crouching down to unzip my tent.

“Goodnight,” he replied, and walked off to his own tent.

Like the lecherous old creep I am, I paused with my hand on the zipper, watching him walk away in the moonlight. The way it hit his bare skin was mesmerizing, like watching white chocolate melt into a pool of dark. His cute little rear end bounced in his form-fitting shorts. I continued watching as he crouched down to unzip his own tent. He suddenly turned to look back at me.

I fumbled like a fool in a comedy, nearly ripping my tent open and falling inside. I zipped up the flap behind me and sat there, heart pounding, face in hands, feeling humiliation atypical of a man my age. I took a few deep breaths, calmed myself down, and took off my clothes. I always slept in the nude and camp was no exception, so I’d made sure to pack lots of blankets. I had given up on finding a comfortable sleeping bag my size ages ago, and instead made my bed with sheets and a duvet just like I did at home. It was far more comfortable.

I lay there in the dark, somehow expecting that I would be able to just fall asleep. But my mind was reeling.

Finally, I admitted to myself what I needed. I pushed back the blankets and started playing with myself. I got hard surprisingly fast, even without a pill. I tried to fantasize about porn stars and bears I knew, anything to try and distract myself, but finally I gave in and let myself think about who was really on my mind. I imagined Nolan’s hands on me, exploring my furry body. I imagined him kissing my neck and my nipples and finally my lips. I imagined him gently stroking my cock, then finally moving down to wrap his lips around it.

I blew my load thinking about him. I came pretty hard, and realized afterward that I may have made a grunt or two loud enough for him to hear. After I came down from that rush, I had a strange mix of post-orgasmic clarity with both guilt and relief. Guilt because it was completely inappropriate to be lusting after this young man, relief because I finally admitted to myself that I was lusting after this young man.

Either way, after that I was finally able to get some sleep.