Hey all - the first story I posted seemed to be received pretty well on here so I thought I'd share another, slightly shorter one.

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First, let me issue a content warning. Although this incident was 100% consensual, there are elements to it that walk the line of consensual non-consent and could be triggering to anyone who is particularly sensitive to sexual assault. But, again, let me reiterate that this was entirely consensual and happened in a safe environment. There was a safe word discussed prior to the encounter that I could have used to end the session at any time.

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So, this story involves the first boyfriend that I had anal sex with. We had only been dating for a few months and had mostly done oral up until that point and had just started having anal sex, with me as bottom. I didn't have a lot of experience bottoming and not only was I very tight, but also he was NOT small. He was very patient with me, took his time, etc., loosened me up before going too hard or too fast, etc. One day we were messing around and I was really in the mood to bottom and he said he just wanted to stick to oral. When I asked why, he hesitated, and then said that he loved topping me but with oral he didn't have to hold back at all, I could deep throat, I could take it rough, he didn't have to worry about me handling it. He said not to take it the wrong way, he didn't mind being patient with me, warming me up, etc. but he was just really in the mood to let himself go and enjoy "using me" to get himself off without worrying about regulating himself and whether or not I could handle it. I didn't quite understand why at the time, but just the way he described what he wanted was such a turn on to me. I asked if he was just wanting to fuck me roughly, because as long as he took it easy in the beginning and loosed me up first, I'm sure I could eventually handle him being rough. And he said, it wasn't really about wanting to be rough exactly, he just didn't want to have to think about it, he just wanted to enjoy himself. He said that with oral, he didn't have to hold himself back because he knew I could handle it, if it was feeling good but he wanted to go deeper or harder, he just could, he didn't have to consider whether or not it was going to make me uncomfortable or cause me pain. With anal, it was nice, but he felt like he couldn't let himself go in the same way and just react instinctively. Again, not that he minded, but in that moment he wanted to just ignore what it felt like to me and just be selfish. When he said it like that, I realized that I wanted him to be selfish, too. With oral, I'd always loved when guys were more selfish, but with anal, I'd always been so focused on relaxing myself and not taking it too rough too fast that I hadn't really been open to letting someone be selfish when using my ass. And... suddenly I wanted to.

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I told him that I wanted him to enjoy himself anally the way he did orally and that what he was describing appealed me too, so I was down to try it. So I leaned over on the couch and started sucking him as he slid his hand down the back of my shorts and started playing with my hole. He got up and grabbed the lube from the bedroom while I took off my clothes and when we resumed, he started lubing up my hole and sliding his finger in and out while I sucked him. Once was completely hard, he told me to turn around and face the other way. He lubed up his cock but just stroked it while he continued to slide his finger in and out of my hole. Then two fingers. Then three fingers. He put more lube on his cock and then got on his knees behind me. He started rubbing the head of his cock around the rim of my hole and asked if I was sure that I wanted to do this. I said yeah, go for it. He pushed the head of his cock harder against my hole, grabbed me by my hips and slammed deep into my ass. I actually yelped. He immediately pulled out slightly and slammed back in hard and, instinctively, I pulled away a bit. He pulled out and asked if I was okay. I asked why he stopped. He said he thought I wanted him to. I asked him, wasn't the whole point of what you wanted was to ignore how it felt to me and just do what you wanted? He said, well yeah, but I thought you wanted me to stop? How am I supposed to know if it hurts but you're okay to keep going or if you really want me to stop? I told him, well, I can't not react when something hurts but that the whole point was for him to not have to think about reading my reactions, so we should use a safe word (I didn't know about the color system, then). I honestly don't remember what the word was anymore but it was something silly. I told him that if it becomes too much and I really want him to stop, I'll say that word. But otherwise, he can keep going no matter what I do or say. He said he liked the sound of that because it made it simple for him to ignore all else and just use me unless I said that word.

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We went into the bedroom to be more comfortable and to have more room. He put me on my back with my legs over his shoulders and again, just pushed into me deep on the first stroke. I winced right away but this time he just kept going. He told me afterwards that seeing each stroke register on my face turned him on. He said it made him feel more selfish to see that I was feeling it, that it wasn't always pleasure, but that he was able to ignore it and keep going. After a minute or two he flipped me over and started fucking me doggy-style. By this point, I'd loosed up a lot more and it wasn't feeling as uncomfortable as when we started. I started pushing back against him. It was feeling really good. After a couple minutes, the lube was starting to wear off and it was starting to hurt again. I told him that we needed more lube and he pulled out, looked around for a sec and said, fuck, we left the lube in the living room. Instead of getting up to get it, he spit into his hand, spread his saliva around his cock, slammed it back in and continued. It worked for a minute but then as the saliva dried up it started to hurt again. I told him and he said, fuck it's feeling so good like this. I told him that I was fine with how rough he was being, it just needed more lube. He kept fucking me.

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I let him continue for a minute and it just continued to hurt worse and worse. I asked him to just go grab the lube and he could continue, apart from the lube drying up it was feeling great. He said, fuck, I don't want to stop, I'm getting close. I told him that I would be fine to keep going for a while, it wouldn't take long to just grab the lube and come back. He pulled out, spit on it again, and slammed it back in. He said look, just deal with it, I'll make it quick. He pushed my head into the pillow and started *railing* me. I'd thought he was being rough before but I had no idea. I'm not going to lie, it HURT at this point, and reflexively I struggled against him but he held my head down against the pillow and continued pounding my ass harder and faster. I considered using the safeword at one point, but I could tell he was getting close and, although it honestly hurt, it was also the most turned on I'd ever been in my life. I continued to struggle against him but without me saying the safeword he just continued to hold me down and kept going. After another minute or so of him getting relentlessly rougher and faster, he slammed balls deep and came deep in my ass. He collapsed on top of me and, staying inside me, rolled us over onto our sides and held me. He thanked me for "taking it like that without making him stop", then pulled his cock out of me, got dressed and left.

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I could feel liquid running down along my ass cheek. It didn't hurt anymore but my mind immediately thought he'd made me bleed. I reached back with my hand and touched my hole to check but it was just his cum leaking out of me. I laid in bed for a while thinking about the experience. The more I thought about it, the more it turned me on. Not because of the pain or how rough he was being, but because it was the first time I'd ever truly felt like only my partner's pleasure mattered. I've since come to realize that part of what appeals to me about being submissive is feeling like I exist for my dom's pleasure. That, within reasonable and pre-negotiated boundaries, their pleasure is the only thing that matters. More than my pleasure, for sure, but sometimes even more than my comfort. It's certainly not a dynamic that I can have with just anyone, but it's what turns me on the most.