I don’t usually post here, as this is your space, but I wanted to bring up a topic that might be beneficial for everyone to discuss. I've noticed that when a white person expresses an attraction to Asians, it's often quickly labeled as a fetish, and I find that assumption a bit concerning.

In my case, I ended up marrying an Asian man, which was never something I specifically sought out or planned. I don’t have a particular interest in things typically associated with Asian pop culture, like anime or dramas. However, after almost 20 years of marriage, I've come to appreciate and respect many aspects of Asian culture, but that’s more out of respect for my husband and his background, not because I saw it on TV and found it fascinating.

I’m curious, and I ask this with an open mind: do you think that some of the quickness to label these preferences as a fetish might stem from insecurities or negative stereotypes that have been placed on Asian men in the dating scene? For instance, old men only like Asians, Asians are too fem, gold digger status etc or unfortunate experiences might lead to the assumption that a white person’s interest is insincere or has ulterior motives. (I will underline I do not mean any of those, but its the truth those are stereotypes).

Or, please help me understand better—what exactly makes it a fetish when someone is attracted to Asian men? Personally, I believe everyone has their preferences, and some people simply find Asian men’s features more attractive, while others may not.

That said, I completely understand the challenges many Asians face in the dating world, so please don’t take this the wrong way. I just feel that the “fetish” label might be applied too quickly in some cases, and I wonder if there’s more to it that I might be missing.