To give you a time frame of this story: I met Robert W on YahooPersonals three months before I attended college in his hometown.

I was 18, a high school graduate from a small town and had been curious for 3 years at that point. I was excited as I’d be going to college 5 hours from home and would be free to explore.

Robert was 43, gay, worked for a different college in the same time, and had a diabetic cat. Funny what you remember.

He was everything a small town curious boy could want. We sent emails everyday all summer. Patient, kind and funny. He also helped me break down so many barriers. He got me to admit to my turn ons and used those to tease me. He sent me pictures of sexy undies I’d wear for him when we finally met. He encouraged to be free and share all with him.

One day, when home alone (before cell phones), I called him and we talked for an hour. He loved to use terms of endearment on me and my heart melted each time.

I remember scanning a picture and sending it to him. He responded in kind. He was so handsome. Bearded, striking blue eyes….just lovely.

We began to talk on the phone weekly, like two friends. I wanted to tell him how I felt, but was afraid he’d get scared off.

We made plans to meet my fifth week of college. I was a college athlete so free time as a freshman was limited.

The day was coming closer, so I was naughty and brought some sexy underwear that has a treasure map. I think you could guess where the X was.

The plan was not to have sex, just a date, but I was going to wear the underwear and let him go as far as he wanted.

Then, disaster. He sent me an email explaining that the weekend before he had driven to Muncie IN and to meet another young man he had he had been talking to and they spent the night together. He still wanted to go on the date, but wanted me to know he had feelings for the other guy. Me today would just accept it and go on the date. Me back then did not handle well. I thought I was falling for him and that he didn’t care for me at all. I blocked him, deleted all the hundred emails (which I know regret) and suppressed everything about him.

I feel now that had he and I met my life would be so different 27 years later

Sorry…have never shared this before. Just wanted to type it out