So I’m in my thirties and anyone mentioned is above 18.

I’m pretty DL and only mess with guys every now and then as an outlet. One of the apps I will use is called Whisper. About a year and a half ago I got on it for the first time in several months. I immediately see a post mentioning me by name. The correct spelling at that. Nothing detailed but it still freaked me out.

I messaged them and tried to get to the bottom of it. After a lot of back and forth it ends up being someone I had talked to several months before. To my surprise it went deeper than that. Turns out they tell me we are close friends. They answer enough questions to prove it to me.

I’m freaking out because I’ve had people betray me before and almost out me. I thought maybe this is someone trying to set me up. They end up sending me some dick pictures to win my trust.

They say we are close but have grown apart. They are married and don’t want to mess up their life. I try to at least narrow it down to a group of people. I end up being able to rule certain people out but then other answers seem to just lead to more questions.

They say they have just always struggled with sexual addiction. The way they phrased that and the overall way they talked kept leading me to one person. Not only were we friends but for awhile he was my best friend and coworker.

I end up finding older posts where they were trying to find me and they contained the mention of something that lined up to what this certain friend had mentioned as well. I then realized those posts and anytime the admirer reached out to me lined up with when the friend would.

I tried my best to get them to admit who they were but they were too paranoid to. I think they even gave me wrong answers to questions to throw me off. They said maybe we could just meet at a theater during the day but it never happened.

We did end up talking more often and even Snapchat. But in phases, I guess he would get guilty or too paranoid and disappear for periods of time. When I would hear from him we talked about how much we wanted each other and what we would do. He even seemed frustrated that I would mess with other guys but hadn’t him. He seemed in disbelief of the whole situation.

I tried to bring the situation up to the guy I thought it was and he would quickly shut it down. I’m guessing to protect himself. Of course making me think even more it’s him.

We then end up at the same concert and hang out for the first time in awhile with a big group of old friends. I send the admirer a group photo from it and of course he claims he’s not in it. But then starts back acting distant.

He loved watching videos of me and asked if I had one of me and another guy. I didn’t because I’m too discreet for all that. He challenged me to video a guy giving me head and said if I sent him it he would finally tell me who he was. Took me awhile to find the right situation to make it happen and of course the admirer flakes. At this point I’m getting mad.

Awhile back he let it slip that he had met up with another guy around here and that also knew me. Was a dude I had went to school with and hooked up with not too long ago. I finally came across the guy again and showed him so pictures and he immediately picked out the friend I thought it was. Wasn’t trying to out the guy but at this point it became where he was playing games. Led me on the disappear, rinse and repeat for several months.

I finally confront the admirer and he disappeared for what has been several months. The friend disappeared for awhile too and just now has started back talking to me every now and then.

I still want him but I’m not sure what to do.