BLUF: I need to feel a thick cock burst through my hole and blast inside me.

I’ve only been with women my whole life. I’m extremely kinky, I’ve helped previous partners explore their kinks, dominate, affectionate, daddy. That’s been my sex life. Only a few very special women have had the pleasure of playing with me anally to include pegging. Those desires are few and far between but I cannot dom full time. Sometimes I just need it in my ass.

Which brings me here. I’m 41, single for the first time in years. I think I’m ready to explore with a man. I’m not attracted to men, just the thought of a cock exploring my insides until I’m seeded and sloppy. Worn out from pleasure just like I do to my partners. Exhaust them. I think I’m ready? I know I’m ready. But committing to that first step is damn difficult for me. I can chat online with a guy, talk fantasies, but when it comes to meeting I chicken out. No matter how badly I want this, I can’t get over that hump.

How did you get past this barrier? I watch a lot of gay porn, trans as well. One thing that makes me think this desire will only live on in my head is when that post nut clarity hits. The desire falls right off a cliff. This is also a part of the fantasy of how I would want this to play out. Being forced to take it. Restrained and used in both holes. I’m a damn mess guys. Help me out here.