Bf and I been together for two years now. However we’ve known each other as friends for 10 years.

The issue is he is just not interested in sex with me. If I initiate anything he will push me away immediately. It is incredibly frustrating as I’m very attracted to him and that side of things is very important to me.

He’s otherwise quite affectionate, will cuddle in bed, tell me he loves he etc. He says he has a low sex drive and just sometimes doesn’t feel like it. But we can go months without any sexual contact, and even then it feels like he’s not present.

The thing is, I know he watches porn regularly, has sex chats with other guys on Grindr (the use of Grindr is allowed in the relationship). I don’t believe he meets anyone else, but the fact that he has these outlets to be sexual whether in person or not shows that the low sex drive excuse doesn’t make a lot of sense.

We tried earlier in the year to open the relationship to see if this would help. But it didn’t - it just made me realise that what I’m missing is a sexual connection with my bf that can’t be replaced or replicated with a random hookup.

If I try to talk to him about it he gets incredibly defensive to the point of anger. I love my bf very much , and on pretty much every other way the relationship is solid. But I can’t get past the lack of sexual relationship. I’ve picked up on too many his behaviours to believe that he’s just not sexual.

What’s really going on? Does he just prefer to express his sexuality with strangers/porn rather than his partner?