Hi there, this is my first post and im looking for advise and idk where to put this so hopefully here is okay.The title is properly the best summery i could give. So me (20f) was friends with my best friend N (20F) for 6 years. When we were 16, we both realized we were interested in women. N was my first crush. I never made a move or anything because i was scared of ruining our friendship and there was always another reason. Slowly i lost feelings and went back to seeing N the same way as before and complelty forgot about the crush. As we both were starting college 2 years ago we slowly lost touch. This things just happen. I start working in my local nightclub and i ran into N. She had a boyfriend and we slowly started talking again. A few months ago by and we were back to our old selfs. The start of summer N and her bf break up. We start going out to nightclubs and bars together for the next 2 months. Cut to one friday we both go out together and she asked me to kiss her and i tell her no as we were too drunk and if i kissed her id want it to mean something. The night ends happily and we both go home. On saturday i was out in the same nightclub as it was my other friends birthday. I run into N and we decide to go for a smoke together. While in the smoking area, N tells me i am the prettist girl she has seen, how shes inlove with me and how she wants to be my gf. I kiss her. After that N asked if we can go to the bathroom she needs to do her makeup. I walk out of the smoking area and when i turn around N isnt behind me. I go back in thinking she is chatting or sumthing. I see her kissing this boy. So i just left her and went back to my friends. Afew minutes go by and N rings me so me thinking something bad must of happened if she was ringing me after what i just saw. N told me she was telling her mam she is staying in mine so she can ride this boy. I just hang up. A few more minutes go by and her mother is ringing me... i do not answer as i just wanted to go home and not be involved in covering for her. So its around 3 in the morning at this point and my mother is ringing me so i answered. My mam got calls off N mam because she didn't know what was going on wit N. I told mam i was in a chipper and N is riding a boy so im going home.... Cut to the next day. N didnt remeber wat happened or what she said to me. I blocked N because i was really hurt by all that. So a few month go by and N is asking for me to forgive her and my boyfriend is telling me its up to me. He knows the story from how we started being friends till the end and i will say we both we eachother ride or die before this and both had some really traumatic experiences that bonded us or we help eachother through personal ones. So basically idk what to do Update: me and my bf werent together at the time of the kiss