I'm finally growing the pair I need to break things off with my boyfriend. But I am trying to figure out the other side of the break up. Am I going to want to date again? I've been racking my head about this for a while. As of now I don't see it and is it weird I am kinda ok with that. Being with my soon to be EX has thought me a few things and I just don't think I'd be willing to open myself up again after the healing is done. I've only "dated" 3 guys,1 of which is my longest and who I am currently with. Each of them, I've realized, have had the same tendencies. Realizing that makes it clear that something broken within me is attracting broken people, so I shouldn't really date until I heal whatever that is. However after all that work, I don't want to risk fucking it up by allowing someone in again. I just feel like its HIGH time i start protecting my feeling, my health and my heart from the fuck shit. But at the same time I do want to build a life with someone. I do wanna come home to someone and have a that love a partner can bring.. But after dealing with all the shit, I'm kind of ready to hang my heels up, find the slippers, get me some cats and just be the resident cat person. lol!

Is love really worth it? Is it worth your mental health? Is it worth the hurt? Right now no. I don't ever want to wonder if my boyfriend is cheating on me, I dont want to have to ever worry about being lied to or being used again. The only way I can see to do that is to remove myself from the dating pool once that happens. But on the other hand, and please excuse my French, I love dick lol! I am getting to old to have a string of lovers/I don't want a string of lovers. So what is a gurl to do?