I'm a gay man 31 and my partner 33 have been together for 10 years now.

We have a good bond and still enjoy each other's company, however over the last few years our sex life has really dried up, we now probably have sex maybe once a month or less, and its no longer satisfying for me. I have a pretty high sex drive where my partner is not very sexual at all, but enjoys it from time to time. It's more dependent on mood for him, where for me it's my way of connecting too.

Because we got together when I was 21, he was one of a handful of guys I ever had sex with and I was pretty inexperienced at the time and never really had the opportunity to explore my sexuality very much and, in particular over the last few years I've been feeling the need to do this a lot more. I've also started to feel really unwanted and even unloved, because I don't feel desired.

The point we're at now is really chipping away at my soul. I feel like I need to make a decision, as I no longer feel like I can be 100% myself around my partner, I have all these desires and even facets of my personality that I feel like I can't share anymore. He's not interested and I can't explore them anywhere else. We've tried to explore my kinks etc but it just doesn't work out. So, we also have spoken about opening up the relationship (he actually brought this up), but are not really sure how to navigate this.

We're kind of at breaking point now, and the thought of being able to explore myself freely is exciting, but at the same time it breaks my heart to have to let go of the relationship to do so, and I feel so trapped in the middle and paralyzed by this decision. I feel so guilty and I think it's causing my depression.

So.. is anyone able to share their experiences at all on how they were able to navigate this kind of situation. Could we open things up in order to save the relationship? How do you even define what the open relationship looks like.. so many questions haha. It's never something I considered before but now I feel like I need this, or I need to be alone. And I don't want to play with my partners life and I don't want to be alone too.