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afraid of rejection in synagogue
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well, i've planned on starting giyur for a few years now and now, when i'm moving in a new city, i'll be able to do that. the problem is, i live in homotransphobic country, i'm trans and gay, and i surely am terribly afraid of rejection by a local reformist rabbi. he's a man in his 50s, has a scolding professor vibe (which isn't helping!) and, again, we live in a terribly -phobic country with laws equating queer community with extremists.

i'm not sure what to do, i don't want to lie about my relationship with a man, i don't want to lie why i can't get circumcision, but i feel that i'll be looked upon, afraid of rejection.

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Bigger cities tend to be more accepting of queer folks, especially if they’re the biggest city in queerphobic surroundings because that’s where all the queer people from those areas go. I went to uni in a town like that ;)

He may be awkward but try to fill in the gaps in his knowledge. He may have seen a half dozen trans folks from smaller towns come in this year and gay trans men will be nothing new. He may reject you, sure, but don’t count on it.

Could you reach out in writing first and introduce yourself? Email gives people time to think before they respond.

Best of luck with the move!

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1 month ago