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(Please no political debatešš, just need some advice)
Ever since October 7th Iāve felt ostracized from the mainstream LGBT community for my views on the state of Israel/Zionism, and Iāve lost many of what I considered to be close friends. And I fear that this post will alienate me more. But in the hopes of getting some much needed advice Iām going to bite the bullet. Iāve been in the process of detransitioning FTM back to F. This is something Iāve been debating and thinking over for a long time and Iāve decided it is whatās right for me. Iāve explained in a detransition subreddit why I thought I was transgender and it came from a place of trauma. (If you want more context you can read my previous post history in that sub, and I also want to clarify that Iām not transphobic. It just wasnāt right for me) Anyways..
For some context, I come from a modern Orthdox family and I grew up in the temple. My community back home knows I was trans and accepted me the best they knew how, I never felt ill will or faced any discrimination from them since most of them knew me as a child and our families were close. Iāve been living as a trans man for over 4 years now.
But Iām struggling with how Iām going to ācome outā as detrans to the orthodox friends/community at my college. Iām not sure if they even knew I was trans to begin with, Iāve never mentioned it and itās never been brought up. But it has dawned on me that when I socially detransition theyāre all going to find out. I donāt think any of them are transphobic in the sense that theyāve never expressed any sort of anti trans sentiment around me and theyāve been very accepting towards me, but itās not something I had felt comfortable discussing in those circles and again, Iām not sure if they know I was trans. My rabbi and his wife live by the rule that they donāt touch people of the opposite sex, and Iāve shaken his hand and weāve hugged multiple times. I canāt help but feel extremely disrespectful.
Any advice would be greatly appreciatedššthank you all for your understanding
In your place, my explanation would just be āthat was right for me then, this is right for me now.ā Even though it sounds like you arenāt fluid and were never a man, people trying to debate you on it instead of respecting what you asked for would still have been inappropriate, right?
Maybe throw in an āI appreciate how understanding youāve been as Iāve been figuring this outā for people who were cool about it.
I would personally not get into further details. Some people might think youāre transfem though and you can correct that assumption or not as you feel comfortable.
WRT shaking the rabbiās hand - trans men shake womenās hands before they come out, right? You did what you understood to be best according to your knowledge at the time and so did he. Thatās all we can ever do, really.
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