Hey all, first time poster. I'm closeted bi, in my 30s and in a straight relationship in NYC. But I've always watched a ton of gangbang porn. And in college I got into sissy hypno (not really the dress up stuff). Anyway, I never really tried anything with guys until I used sniffles like two years ago. First received a BJ, then gave two to the same guy on separate occasions. But a few months ago I met a BBC on sniffies. He was pretty wary that I would flake but I told him the night before that I could go to his place in the morning (living with the gf so made an excuse that I went to the gym). I smoked a bit of weed too calm my nerves outside and went to his place. He led me to the bedroom and we felt each other. He got in the bed and took off his shorts. I asked if I could do that too. He was like 8" and cut. I couldn't fit all the way in my mouth. I tried to go as deep as possible but definitely gagged a bit. Had to take breaks to jerk him off and catch my breath. I was jerking off with my other hand. At some point he picked me up and started frotting. I was basically edging the night before just thinking about his cock so I told him I was too close to cumming so I went back to sucking him. He tried kissing me during the frot but I don't think I was too comfortable with that yet. But holy shit it felt so hot to be handled like that. As he got closer he asked where he could cum. I asked where he'd like to but I think he knew I was nervous and offered to do it on my face (instead of in my mouth). He jerked off on the side of my face and I jerked off onto myself. He let me clean up in the bathroom and I left. The shitty part is that I want to connect again but I really did flake the next time we planned cause I had to do something with the gf. So think he blocked me on sniffies. Next time I would want more of the frotting and probably swallow. He said if I was clean he would eat my ass. So a few questions. Are those douche bulbs enough? Or is there more to it? Second. I can barely fit a large sized butt plug in my ass right now. Should I keep practicing so anal feels comfortable? Should I get bigger toys and keep it limber?