So I have a good friend who I've been secretly crushing on for almost 2 years. I first met him while gaming thru a mutual friend. He was super chill and funny and seemed like a genuinely kind guy. Then I saw a pic of him... So fucking good looking with gorgeous eyes, great smile, and a nice dad bod which I'm into. I thought he was single and flirted with him like crazy, messaging him every day, bringing up naughty subjects whenever I could.

But then I learned he had a boyfriend and I felt awful because I would never wanna get between a couple. Honestly I was angry he didn't tell me sooner but he thought I already knew. So i stopped flirting and started treating him as a friend. And his boyfriend is cool too and they're good together. I'm good friends with both of them and we share a solid friend group.

Fast forward, I get a girlfriend (I'm pansexual) for almost a year but she cheats on me so we broke up. Since then, I've been feeling really depressed and lonely so I started messaging him a lot more and I think I'm falling for him again. Out of respect, I don't send overtly flirty things or anything like that. Just occasionally something very very lightly flirty. I still think he and his boyfriend are great and belong together and would never wanna break that up. Also he lives super far away so an actual relationship is unlikely anyways.

But he's so fucking cute and hot and he's into Asian guys like me (which his bf is not) and idk if he's just being nice/fun or flirty, but he tells me in a roundabout way that I'm cute and that I should use cute snap filters when I snap him and stuff. He always responds to me and I feel like if he didn't already have his boyfriend, we'd be going out.

I'd never do anything to intentionally hurt or try to end their relationship. I would never make the first move because I would never be able to forgive myself, but damn I wish he would just drunkenly sext me one night or something so I could have an excuse to tell him how much I've dreamt about his sweaty hairy body on top of mine, railing me as we kiss passionately, so I could whisper in his ear "you don't even know how long I've wanted this", as he breeds me like he does his boyfriend...